Two Candles Down, Many More to Blow-Happy Birthday New Jack

October 27th, 2009 was the 2nd birthday of "The New Jack"

I'll admit, in two years I haven't gotten this blog nearly anywhere to the level that I've wanted it to reach. But though I may not have the readership and exposure I seek, I still gained.

I've truly gained a place to lay out all my feelings and all my experiences in the last two years. From jail to freedom, from being coupled up to single-hood and everything in between. My thoughts are deeper, and I still have a lot more growing to do but regardless of which, I've grown. From a 21 year old who just came out of college with a multitude of instant expectations to a 23 year old who finally understands that love is all that truly matters in this world.

In the last two years, I've had few solid plans. I used to believe you just do, and as long as you do you should just receive; but, I'm older now and a bit wiser. I know a couple things now about work ethic..about love...about trust...about pain...about how to rebound.

The thing that I'm proud of most is that this blog has given me the opportunity to rebound.Two years ago, this same person let the issues of her world destroy her. Now this person may get weakened by it, but always knows in the back of her mind there's a way to rebound.

Two years...

Two candles down...many more to blow...

The Turning Point

There's a reason.

There's a reason for it all no matter how lost and confused I am half the days of my life, but there is a reason. For the first time in 23 years, I'm realizing it's okay to not know what that reason is right away because God knows what that reason is. My BFF, Linette has always pointed out my high levels of negativity and for so long I never saw eye-to-eye with what she was saying until now. I have such a loud, new, fresh out look on life because I think I finally realize now that there's a reason.

I may not know the reason right away, but I'm now truly content with knowing that there's a reason altogether.

There's a reason why I was the one who came up with, "The New Jack"; There's a reason why I was the one to come up with "Shoes From Last Night"; There's a reason why The Significant always got caughtcheating; A rason why I was downgraded to the car I now have; A reason why I lost this past job I had; A reason why I've been in Jamaica, the place of my birth for four days for fucking free at that.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, that has happened in my past, negatively matters...

It's all been a set up for some things I couldn't forsee, but always the right thing for me. For example, I've been so miserable of the car downgrade that I endured only 10 days after my birthday, the accident that cause all that drama...no car for two whole months and financial woes I'm still playing catch up on. You couldn't tell me I wasn't being punished. A month after geting this lesser valued car, I lost my job. Howwould I have supported the higher valued car had I been unemployed? Now, not saying that upkeeping this one with no job will be cake, but imagine if I would've got in June, a 2009 car. How would I have paid the lease plus insurance payment? In getting a 1997 car, I only have an insurance payment to deal with, and from my last pay check from my job I've used it to pay my insurance through October. I couldn't see the reason but I see it now.God had a plan for me. i just didn't know about it. So instead, I just was a prick for 2 1/2 months to just get hit with, "duh".

With 'The New Jack', I've always been stressing looking for web help because I've been ready to take things to the next, next level. But maybe, it's just wasn't time yet. It seems that maybe I've just found the help I was looking for because the domain expires in 3 weeks. Just enough time for me to the the grand conversion. There's a reason I wrote this on paper, on a balcony at a 5-star resort...I feel like, it's the turning point. I finally realize that the ability to write is something wat put here, but Him, I didn't buy it somewhere. There's a reason why we moved to New York from Jamaica, my family. There's a reason why I know who I know. And even if I don't get the full reason all the time, does it really truly matter if He knows the reason?

No, it doesnt. I believe in my sould now that it doesn't matter.

Tightrope walkers never look down, for where your head goes, your body goes. They look at where they're trying to get to, for it doesn't matter if you're sure of if you're going to get across but He knows if and how to get you across. So why have I spent so much time focusing on the how, when someone else already knows, "the way" to? I've been so deeply rooted in negativity, since 2007. Another turning point, leaving a total comfort zone & falling straight into the fire pit head first. I've had my ups but I've been forever focused on the downs and it's true, Linette has tried to show me and she's been right....
Linette has always been relaxed in "the way to", never the "how to". I joke on her for what I've always considered to be her lack of reality, bt she consistently relaxes in "the way to". It's never "how are we getting to Manhattan" or "how are we paying for this meal" or "Are we sure we're getting a ride to this location". It's always "Dee, we know the way to Manhattan, so just start looking up train times". I've been doing so much thinking...I really wishI could get it all out.

All I know is...
I'm ready to change. I'm ready to live. I'm ready to love. I'm ready to immerse myself in the good. I'm ready to believe and I'm ready to trust. I might be scared of it, because indeed, trust is the biggest fear of all for me, but I'm ready to try it again. Some times, it may hurt, more than I think I can bare. But truth be told, even when it hurts, would I still be here standing if it wasn't something I could survive? Wouldn't I have crumbled already?

But I am standing...and that's not a dream.
No matter how much it hurts, I'm still standing. Because He is holding me by that tightrope harness.

So if I know that for a fact, then why look down?

New Jack Update: SFLN

Shoes From Last Night.

"Like TFLN, but shoes are way more important than texts"

I started a new blog over the course of this weekend. For a starting fact, I own a minimum of 70 pairs of shoes. I'm not sure where to put them anymore, and they're ALL over my room. The Significant complains incessantly of how he always has to walk and hop over them in my bedroom, inclusive of the millions of other things on the floor in my room. I've truly gotten bad. Now that I've been fired, and have...umm, more time on my hands, I'm actually going to do a wild mass cleanup in here....

The issue still remains that I don't know WHERE to put all the shoes. I actually have two closets, plus I've dedicated two sections of two different walls of just boxes and shoes in THOSE boxes stacked from floor to ceiling, then I have some strays in Ma Dukes' room and some strays in the living room which drives her nuts. Some kids get yelled at for washing dishes, I get yelled at to pick up my shoes.

As usual, I was parading around Manhattan, in..."celebration" of getting fired and a birthday. Any excuse to open a bottle of Patron is fine by me. I debuted a pair of cuties that are a staggering 5" tall, but oddly, oddly enough..really comfortable. It's so weird that it all struck me as a lightening bolt, but there is a real reason behind why I got fired..and it's not their reason why. Writing is truly what I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm very excited about SFLN; it's like having a second baby, not that babies were the new black to begin with. The New Jack will be 2 in October and now I have a new baby. But just as with all children, especially young ones in my time not working, I need to focus on caring for both. There's been plenty a time that things have been going on in life and I've neglected my first born. I don't want to make that mistake anymore. In my time not working, I want to work on both of these, attend the gym daily, cook for my family and try to find the job that I do want. It's lurking...and I needed to get fired essentially for it to come to me.

So while I'm waiting on that, I might as well talk about something I do like...

...Shoes....

600 Deep

It's almost not surprising to me, that my 600th post in The New Jack happened to be about my love for Alexander McQueen. This man's designs never ever fail to satisfy me. I want this Alexander McQueen Pelle Leather Sandal........$1,159.

{Image: Trend Dolls}





























{Image: Rihanna Style}














I can't help but to find it humorous. I'm not even sure how 600 posts happened so quickly. I've put so much of my life out there and going backwards through 600 posts it almost seems like a total blur. Despite that, and despite other opinions, I feel as if I'm aging like fine wine. If you open the beginning back in 2007 and see where I've dragged, fought and crawled to in the year 2009 I've been moving. Maybe not as quickly as other alumni counterparts from our graduation point in 2007, but I'm moving regardless. Now, that I'm truly getting over having Watchmen syndrome, I know that only better things are in store for me.

After all, in most cases if you want something done you have to do it yourself. These 600 posts are something I've done all on my own, and to me that's something worth celebrating.
And one day, these writings will be the reason why I'll be able to buy Alexander McQueen boots on the fly.......

New Jack Update: 4:37 PM

At 4:37 PM yesterday, on 4/14/09, I became 23 years old...officially.















































4:37 PM is the time of birth listed on my birth certificate from Jamaica. I definitely stole my DJ's glasses for the above photo-DJ Ma$e. The second photo is definitely me, mid-"dutty wine"...yeah...

I had my birthday party on a bus, very "Ciroc Obama" status. The bus came equipped with a pole, plasma TV & an actual bathroom, which pleased me beyond ends. I put up about 14 bottles on the bus with donations from others who came on to the bus and had a grand total close to 30 people.

As I look at being age 23, the number instills a slight degree of fear as I do associate it with old age. I think of that 5 years ago at age 18, when I thought of the age 23 I saw myself in a totally different place. A more happier and successful place. I saw myself actually at least in the true pathways to doing what I really doing what I want to do, as opposed to my current status being not remotely in the zone of doing anything that has to do with even the essence of my being.

I'm a little stressed.
I'm a little content.
All simultaneously.

I feel a degree classier and I feel in the last year, I've learned way much more than I even bargained for especially in the working world.

Maybe 23 won't be nearly as horrific as I have been dreading it will be...
I feel the cougar in me coming out.......

New Jack Update: Jailbird

Taken at Angels and Kings here in NY last night...

Jason Mraz Update: SNL

As per Facebook, Jason Mraz is going to be hosting Saturday Night Live on NBC with Steve Martin on 1/31/09.
How amazing is that?

Shia LeBeouf Update: Tranformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Does this news that Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen drops on 6/26/09 excite ANYONE but me?
...It must have to...

New Jack Update: Report Signature Masonic Sandal

Can...I...just have ONE moment of happiness?
...Just ONE....

I've been watching these shoes since at least, July 2008 when both Marleux and Nicole Bitchie first starting posting photos of Meagan Good in these sandals. At that time, I was trying to be a good egg and pay bills, etc.

As per Nicole Bitchie with the help of Marleux, the sandals were on SALE on Endless.com.
















And I just purchased them and I'm going to be the friggin proud owner as of Friday of this week.
You know who would appreciate these....Pristina Christina....Yep.

Summer '09 CANNOT come fast enough baby!

Blog Dipset Update: Jax Poetic's Birthday

{New Jack @ Jax Poetic's party}

You can tell we had a good night.......

On Saturday, 11/8/08, I threw a "SMALL" party in Manhattan for Jax Poetic. Small, somehow...inadvertently becomes a crap load of people in a VERY tiny space. It was VERY crowded and I didn't expect such a nice turn out, but hey...they turned out :)

Can I toot my own horn and say that I LOVE that plaid dress I wore, and that it was disgustingly fierce for its public debut?
Yep......

Arrest Me, Please...

I definitely made up for some things Halloween '08...




























The night of Halloween itself was hysterical with that being the quote I heard all night..long...
"Arrest me, please.."
"I'll leave with you to the precinct RIGHT now"

So many...immigrants, begged me for photos I was beginning to become confused as to WHO I am...
With the song, "Mrs. Officer" by Lil Wayne, this was by far the year to be a cop..
I LOVED everyone who sung to me..

We incurred some drama with Webster Hall however...
Being that they're completely unfocused, they well over booked and were well over capacity when we got there at 1AM. The party wasn't supposed to shut down until 5...
Our "friend" refused to exit, but it's all good she proved a lot that I already knew about her in that same night. She never fails to disappoint me, and somehow she always finds a way to outdo herself from her last failure.

Upset with the "friend" , we had to make up for it last night and it was a REALLY GOOD night to say the least. I debuted a new corset I purchased back in August..















































(more on The New Jack Photos page)

It served its purpose, as I in an economic crisis drank for free all night. Last night was the right time for that debut! LOL! It was such a wild, confused crew last night...
The Long Island usuals, the crack-head usuals, and my Brooklyn unusuals...however, I was very pleased that we all blended together really nicely last night. So now, I spend my Sunday in recovery...

I definitely "beat it like a cop" all weekend long...

Happy Belated Birthday, New Jack

Whoa...
I totally had the date incorrect! I missed my one year birthday! The New Jack is officially one-year old, as of October 17th! I had the date in my head as October 28th, the date that I started my visitor stats...

Finally at a year old, I've been able to write an "about" because it took a year of soul searching, drama, jail, and other trouble for me to find out what I'm really about.
This time LAST year, I was writing about community service in Blue October Waste..telling you my severe finance woes, in An Expense Report and detailing the beginning of some downward depression in Cookie Crumbles. The Significant and I definitely went through the ringer, but a year later we're blissfully happy, and right this minute I really couldn't picture myself with anyoen else. I wrote a letter to my BFF, reminding her that Significant or not, she'll always be the love of my life. Battles with the parentals and a zillion failed job interviews. My first car. My first job after college. A lot of firsts, a lot of failures, but some good successes. 2008 was a nice turn around for The New Jack.

I taught myself the HTML when no one opted to help me...I pretty much taught myself everything when I got empty promises of help that never came through. A year ago, I didn't even have a photo up and the blog wasn't worth anything..a year later? I have photos, banners I made myself, HTML all done by myself and now my blog is actually worthy of being hacked for hundreds of dollars per MONTH. My TIME, my nights up late trying to learn, trying to fix things and my real life tears actually paid off to be something I'm extremely proud of.

So though the journey is far from over, here's to one candle out on the cake...
Or, I could just come out of it Marylin-style























....Happy Birthday, Mrs. President.



This IS what The New Jack about:
" "This here's a classic, just like a pair of Reeboks"-Yung Joc

"..with the spirit of a hustler, and the swagger of a college kid.."- T.I.

Cultural, personal theory-filled, snark, Shakespearean and musical, The New Jack is a compliation blog of all the new happenings in LIFE, art, MUSIC, LOVE, pop-culture, celebrities and most importantly, a real-life twenty-something, The New Jack, herself.

In October of 2007, The New Jack was founded by author Deidre Henry, graduate of SUNY College at Oneonta. Fresh out of college, fresh into trouble and unemployed, while not having a job, the author created her own. It was while in desperate search for a job within the Record Industry, she discovered how to turn her passion as a songwriter into writing about her own life as well as the masses. "I realized that after thinking I knew everything after college, that absolutely everything was new to me...From Kingston, Jamaica to Brooklyn and to Long Island, no matter what I'm always 'The New Jack' on the block".

Truly coming about in the understanding that, "You can pay for school, but you can't buy class"(Jay-Z), The New Jack is expanding her horizons as well as yours one entry post at a time. So on that note, "Let's get these teen hearts beating; Faster, faster!"(Panic! At the Disco). Shall We? "
To read more of The New Jack About, including press, advertising and contact, click here.

I'm Ready To Go RIGHT NOW

After ONE AND A HALF MONTHS of my comments being disabled, they're back :) *cue the sigh of relief from the crowd* I have a couple things on the brain and it's nice to know that people can actually COMMENT again. Naturally, first as always, my BFF proved that they're working by commenting on the latest PCD video "I Hate This Part"...naturally, also expressing her hatred for PCD..
...Surprise, surprise...
Here's the video for the post title track...
John Legend f/ Andre 3000 "Green Light"

DOLL DOMINATION!

STOP EVERYTHING!
The PussyCat Dolls, new album "Doll Domination" is being offered for $2.99 by Amazon.com through 9/30/08!
















Myspace is hosting the ad on their log-in page as an Amazon.com exlcusive! So head over to Myspace or better yet, Amazon.com to purchase your $2.99 copy of Doll Domination!



I mean..in this recession where we can barely afford gas for $4._ _ a gallon, you might as well buy a whole CD for cheaper!

P.S.: Tracks to listen to and love: "Bottle Pop" featuring Snoop Dogg
"Whatcha Think About That" featuring Missy Elliot

P.P.S.: Thank GOD this whole album is actually NOT just Nicole!!!! The others get to sing!