New Jack Update: Setting Up Shop

It's as if I've caught fever...
But I guess, it's a fever I don't want to sweat out. But this fever, I tell you, it's lit fire under my skin and made a lot of things move for me.

I was repeatedly given advice to worry about me, and me only for awhile. My feelings for The Ex-Significant as well as just the positioning of others in my life was always too much to make me do just that. And, I'll admit for two months, I didn't. I was 200% worried about The Ex-Significant and an All-Star that I had an insane amount of feelings for, none of the time worrying about myself but more so, what would be the end result. Better put, it was always about what am I going to 'get' not, what's going to happen 'to' me. After two months, you may have to just admit to yourself that your ideas are just not working and maybe it's time to try something different.

So I have...

I've buried myself into the project of finding a job, not necessarily a salaried job, but a decent job that will pay the bills and that I can merrily more than tolerate. In the short span of three weeks of making that my sole focus, I got hired as a full-time account key holder at Perfumania. So far, I like my co-workers, I get paid a base pay as well as make a commission. Enough, if used correctly, to pay my bills and start saving and making my goals come true in 2010. I'm not going to lie, not only me, myself but pretty much all of my friends have had an awful, stressful and corrupt 2009. Job losses, deaths, financial woes that words can't describe, loves lost...the list is too long and it doesn't solely apply to me. I'm using 2010 as a starting over point. Not just an, "oh 2010 is going to be great and who knows what will happen after that". No.
I want 2010 to be the beginning of the rest of my life. In positivity. In abundance. I don't want to work for anyone else, I want to work for myself. Doing what I love. And I want to spend the rest of 2009 just preparing and organizing for the first new day of the rest of my beautiful life. 1/1/10.

There will be setbacks. There will be haters. But, the beauty of my life will not dissipate.

With that being said, I'm going to edit The New Jack. No more frivolous posts.
The New Jack is two years old, and in two years from this post, today I want to see that I've continued to grow and make change. That I've truly come to see the beauty in life. The beauty in every day. That I've helped people. That in some way, I'm assisting putting someone at peace. I don't care how many page views The New Jack gets anymore, because it's not about publicity...it's about life & love. The only two things that truly matter.

So in 2010, The New Jack will get a much simpler face lift....
What will be about publicity wont be my life as The New Jack, but Shoes From Last Night-the online and hopefully, physical shoe boutique that I'm setting up and Dulce de Cocoa-a candy & clothing line that I'm working on simultaneously that will donate proceeds to Action Against Hunger.

All this activity, thought and movement has literally happened in a span of two weeks. It's like I said, its as if I've caught fever. But in actuality, its the best fever I've ever caught. And this is what happens when you apply yourself to you. I have a passion to move. A passion to grow. A passion to change. A passion to assist in change. A passion for my future and the future of others.

So, I'm setting up shop.
Setting up shop for others.
And, setting up shop for my life.

Two Candles Down, Many More to Blow-Happy Birthday New Jack

October 27th, 2009 was the 2nd birthday of "The New Jack"

I'll admit, in two years I haven't gotten this blog nearly anywhere to the level that I've wanted it to reach. But though I may not have the readership and exposure I seek, I still gained.

I've truly gained a place to lay out all my feelings and all my experiences in the last two years. From jail to freedom, from being coupled up to single-hood and everything in between. My thoughts are deeper, and I still have a lot more growing to do but regardless of which, I've grown. From a 21 year old who just came out of college with a multitude of instant expectations to a 23 year old who finally understands that love is all that truly matters in this world.

In the last two years, I've had few solid plans. I used to believe you just do, and as long as you do you should just receive; but, I'm older now and a bit wiser. I know a couple things now about work ethic..about love...about trust...about pain...about how to rebound.

The thing that I'm proud of most is that this blog has given me the opportunity to rebound.Two years ago, this same person let the issues of her world destroy her. Now this person may get weakened by it, but always knows in the back of her mind there's a way to rebound.

Two years...

Two candles down...many more to blow...

I Am

Today is October 16th, 2009..my last entry was September 30th.

"Sometimes, having a big heart leads to an even bigger shield around it. However, keeping a sword is completely optional".

I am broken.
I am broken.
I am broken.
I am the owner of a big heart.
I am a carrier of a thyroid disorder.
Maybe, I am a lush.
I am tired.
I am cranky.
I am cold.
I am officially depressed.
I am a clown, wearing a smile when I want to do everything but smile.
I am sensitive.
I am sensitive.
I am sensitive.
I am open.
I am closed.
I am dying.
I am falling apart.
I am lonely.
I am afraid.
I am running.
I am standing still.
I am going through the motions.
I am trying to progress.
I am failing.
I am successful.
I am weak
I am weak.
I am weak.
I am strong.
I am strong
I am strong.
I am strong.
I am strong.
I am sick.
I am sick.
I am needy.
I am angry.
I am angry.
I am angry.
I am alone.
I am a writer.
I am a genius.
I am lost.
I am creative.
I am messy.
I am growing.
And it's true, I am lacking in self-belief
I am feeling defeated.
I am frustrated.
I am empty but I am full in that I am in pain.
I am stubborn.
I am opinionated.
I am struggling.
I am a fighter.
I am easily hurt.
I am easily distraught.
I am a believer in love.
I am avid in not supporting vengeance.
I am not at peace.
However, I am me.
Whatever I believe I am, I am being that me to the fullest extent.

I am hurting.
I am hurting.
I am hurting.

The hurt surrounds me day and night and reinforces the reasoning behind why I keep a set-a shield and sword. My shield is still up, and at the moment, thicker than it has been in the past only because I hurt so very much..but I AM working on putting my sword down.

I AM working on putting it down.

New Jack Update: Get Right

I'm trying to focus on doing just that...
Getting Right...

From the men in my life to my health, I am focusing all my energy that way. I did a lot of thinking over the weekend....

In terms of the male thing, I have it pretty much figured out. I know that I can't be with The Significant at this moment because he needs to get his life together. Likewise, the All Star has no desire to comitt to anything that doesn't involve less than 4 women at a time, so I'm enjoying his company and not getting trapped under any circumstances. I'm relaxing...missing The Significant, at times, but relaxing nonetheless.

In terms of work, I've been booking more modeling gigs than ever. I'm turning some things down because I'm being selective. I have a vision and I'm trying to stick with that vision. There are small hindrances, like my laptop is currently dying and I need to drop 35 pounds but don't have the money to eat healthy. Despite the set backs and that its taking me forever to type this post, I'll truck along still. Something is going to break through and I will have a Macbook pro 13" and I will maybe not lose 35lbs but tone myself to exactly where my body is fully perfect.

I'm loving that I have the opportunity to write so much more now, I just want it to get the right exposure. I'm starting to run..and of course, this isn't the best time in my mind to start since the winter is around the corner but its better to be doing it than to not do it at all. I've been reading a lot of health magazines, listening to a lot of Dr. Oz and just realizing that this thyroid disorder is something I may have gotten myself into from body/diet/nutritional neglect. I don't have health insurance so I have to find a way to sustain my health on my own accord. I've also begun re-reading Joel Osteen's book to keep my mind focused on the turning point, and after I get some finances straight then hopefully I want to do my first two week trip to California. I would love to do it mid October..

Just just a lot of random things that I feel as if I've finally sorted out. Men, food, life, work, play, finances, future finances, living space, family, friends and more. Now that I've sorted it all out I have to use what I know and officially get right....

Jennifer Lopez ft Fabolous - Get Right (Hip-Hop Remix)
by Schutzengerl1205

New Jack Update: Going Back to Cali

I've been thinking...

Needless to say, anyone who knows the depth in which I function I am an over thinker to a fault.

I stated in Deep Inside of You that:

Turmoil and conflict exist...they are indeed a necessary evil.

Belittlement, disrespect and insecurity however, are not.

I'm starting to feel an indirect mixture of the two levels, in which I refuse to sit back and be comfortable in.
This time, I'm going to seek a near permanent solution for it.

In recent analysis of the groups of friends I keep, the conflict that exists-unnecessarily along with the combination of personality traits and behaviors I have come to the conclusion that I will forever be in this complex position if I do not remove the people who cause the issues or remove myself. I personally, have accepted the Summer of 2009 to be a blessing as the true colors of many have doth been revealed. Without that revelation, I would be in a miserable state of mind. The combination of these revelations, the inability of many to anything Brand New and even acceptance levels that it is what it is I have chosen to remove myself.

In order for me to excel in The Turning Point I have to acknowledge that there is a REASON why things don't change. People don't change. Situations don't change. Feelings don't change. I'm tired of things not changing. I'm tired of having to expect particular behavior and I'm tired of having to settle for less than my mind is worth.

With that being said, I'm investigating a four to six month live-in in California.

I already have someone to live with, I just need to come up with the money. I've always heard New Yorker celebrities state that they never got discovered until they picked up and moved to California and likewise, Californians have always said the same regarding their careers until they moved to New York. The same circle of drama is not progressing my life any further forward, it's just diverting my attention from chasing my own greatness.

And that, is not what I need in the least.

I can only hope, as there is a reason for everything, that when I pick up and move the people I left behind grow. I can only pray for their growth, not coerce it. I'm too fed up of the same excuses, same explanations and same old drama. As tired as I am just like in The Turning Point, I have to accept the reason. Maybe, me being so sick of what is constantly going on is the kick in the ass I needed to move on.

Who knows?
Or maybe, I'll find out as soon as I get to Cali.........

New Jack Update: Identity Crisis

Mirror, Mirror on the wall..who's the fairest of them all?

It's fair enough to say, in just the quote alone that the Queen in Snow White was indeed under some belief that she wasn't as adequate as other females who lived in the land. That's the exact reason why she had to ask the mirror, DAILY, "who's the fairest of them all?". Her high level of insecurity about who she is, poised her to ask herself these questions.

The day that the Queen heard the mirror tell her that there IS someone that exists fairer than her, she had a meltdown.
She flipped shit, basically....

The idea that she wasn't the fairest one sent her into such a rampage that she needed to track down who Snow White was, and kill her so that she could return to the status of being the fairest of them all.

It's fair enough, that I'm seeing some surrounding members are undergoing an identity crisis that is now officially driving me "bats", to quote The Joker. It's funny, that again, my BFF, Linette and I were discussing this last night...and not to toot my own horn but some individuals are following my "path" to fame to a tee.

It's sad, cause I truly recognize it as an identity crisis...they can't be themselves, so they feel it necessary to be ME in every sense of the word. Every move I make, they mimic, every idea, every notion. I think that we've all been put on earth by God, the Lord our Creator with UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL talents. Some of us, have talents that overlap or share some things, which of course makes us all relatable and able to have friendships, relationships, love, etc.
However, not ONE of us, has the exact same path to fame, road to glory, life pattern, disappointments, joys, etc. or else God wouldn't have MADE one of us if TWO of us were going to have the same EXACT path.

I know..EXACTLY..what my path is. Why is it that people would find it necessary to copy my path, EXACTLY as opposed to making their own path? Did I NOT just write a post like, 24 hours ago titled, Deep Inside of You about finding what lies inside of you? Utilize what you have. Don't try to make yourself into something you're not, out of something you don't possess ..and worse so, never did. I never, ever supported people being something they're not...especially after undergoing a friendship with a Spanish woman, who doesn't frequent our group anymore who I had to play New Jack 2.0 for.

You should want to be YOU ..all day, everyday... just because you're not ME, doesn't make YOU any LESS glamorous, smart, funny, pretty or cool.

All it does, is make you, less whole.
So please....
Stop trying to kill my path to the Prince as I am Snow White...just be the Queen and drop the identity crisis..

After all I mean aside from the insecurities...there was nothing wrong with the Queen to begin with..

Based off of the other entry I wrote, I found this entertaining...I like when things come with instructions...

How to Become a Socialite

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Do you really want to be a socialite? The socialites that we see in the media already have their wealth and status from the day they were born. More than likely you are starting from scratch. To get the know-how, don't look at Paris Hilton or Ivanka Trump. Watch Mr. Hilton and Mr. Trump and you are on your way to becoming a socialite. Well, it is hard work, but this is for those social climbers out there who want to put an impressionable foot in the door. This guide will help you get into there, the rest is up to you!

Steps

Climbing up the social ladder and making a name for yourself

1. Create the suitable background for yourself. Your roots are very important for other socialites; one without a prestigious familial background is often qualified as "unsuitable" for becoming a socialite. As most people that come across this page, you're probably not filthy rich, unlike socialites who will expect you to have something fabulous to say about your background. In this case, be reclusive about your past. When people ask you about your early life -and they will-, think of some interesting details to tell them. Avoid any embarrassing details and focus on saying positive things. Rich people want their entourage to come from a good familial background (and good means rich here) for a very simple reason: they want to surround themselves with well-educated people. So, as long as you are mannered and proper, they won't care that much.
   
2. Get the right education. Preparation for becoming a socialite begins in middle school. Of course, it is possible to become a socialite even if you weren’t brilliant in middle and high school and didn’t attend prestigious colleges, but it’s much harder.
   
   • If you are still in middle school or high school, make the best you can out of your school years. Get excellent grades (B’s are the lowest grades accepted, C’s are unacceptable), get involved in extracurricular activities, and obtain high scores at exams.
     
   • Attend prestigious universities; either one of the Ivy League ones (warning: you must pay up to $50,000 a year, so make sure you save enough money for that), or a renowned European one (Sorbonne in Paris, or Oxford and Cambridge in the UK).
     
   • Choose the right career paths. Choose either one of these: art, literature, fashion, or finance. The career path you choose must be somehow related to fine living. Even if all well-paid fields are just fine, you're more likely to meet socialites in these ones.
     
   • Learn a few foreign languages. French is a must; German, Spanish and Italian would also help. But the more languages you know, the better.
     
   
   
3. Get an extremely well-paid job. In theory, it is quite easy: establish a business and make it grow. Again, pick one of the fields above; if you do, you’ll certainly find quite a lot of well-paid, fun jobs. Strive to be the best in your field; try to meet some famous people working in your field and learn their secrets. Start small; you won't be extremely successful by the beginning of your career. Get a few different jobs in the field, gather experience, then start a brand of your own.
   
4. Learn how to promote yourself. Make a website for yourself or your company, make some business cards, convince some related brands to power you, advertise yourself or your company in some newspapers or magazines and so on. Especially at the beginning of your career, it is very important to meet the right people. Establishing a good social network can get you many good deals. Go to events related to your field, meet some moguls in the given industry, and make them help you.
   
5. Find someone very rich to marry. Yes, you can become a socialite by marrying the right person, without having to work for all that fortune yourself. You can then use your spouse's money to get a good start in business (you thought you could still get away without working? You will be disappointed to find out you can't, dear). Do you think Tinsley Mortimer was always one of the most prominent socialites in Manhattan? Wrong. She wasn't that known until she married Robert "Topper" Mortimer, a very rich banker, and became a designer for the handbag line Samantha Thavasa. So don't worry if you haven't been an excellent student; there's hope for you too.
   
6. Do your homework. As a socialite, there are a few things you must (emphasize "must") know. For example, the most basic thing to start with is knowing the names and faces of the most prominent socialites of the moment. Go to Park Avenue Peerage and get familiar with the names under the "Profiles" section.
   

Acting as a socialite

1. Choose a good name. Make sure it sounds extremely WASP-y, uncommon and maybe foreign. Don’t go for already “taken” last names such as Vanderbilt, because people know the Vanderbilts and will eventually figure you out.
   
   • The caveat to the above is that you must look the part. If you have olive skin, kinky hair and brown eyes, no one is going to buy you as Muffie Sutton. In this case, you are better off settling for something that suggests old Spanish heritage ("Isabella Segovia").
     
   
   
2. Become interested in expensive stuff. Know all the big names in everything: fashion, art, crafts, cuisine, sports etc. In the socialites’ world, when someone mentions a name, everybody is expected to know it. Also be able to pronounce all those foreign names properly. You may want to start reading some specialty magazines.
   
   • If you're clueless about anything luxurious, go on Fashion Net and start doing your research. The website contains some excellent links to the sites of the brands that matter. Try acquiring some stuff from any of those brands.
     
   
   
3. Break the nouveau riche stereotype. "Nouveau riche" is an often derogatory term used to describe the upper class people who don't come from a wealthy family and achieved their fortune through work, not heritage. You may get looked down upon just for the fact that previous generations in your family were not wealthy. It's a sad fact of life; however, it can be diminished by not acting like the stereotypical new money fellow. Noveau riche tend to be more extravagant in appearances, but is understandable, because they automatically link opulence with happiness; but in time, the second, third, and so on generations who grew up with wealth tend not to find it that much important.
   
   • Don't be too enthusiastic about your possessions; for true upperclassmen, wealth is something they got used with, therefore they don't make too many thoughts about it. Be modest and don't brag about your belongings. Better yet, don't mention prices at all.
     
   • Spend your money wisely. Don't rush into buying opulent stuff, just because you can afford it; have a little class. Don't show off your economic status by being as extravagant as possible; you will only end up looking ridiculous ad proving that you have no experience whatsoever in being rich. To summarize, don't be a total snob.
     
   
   
4. Be sophisticated. Refinement is the quality that separates ditzy celebrities from the true elite; lack of sophistication is a crime in the socialite world.
   
   • Have excellent manners. Used to slouch, put your elbows on the table while eating, yawn without covering your mouth? Such signs of lack of good breeding are unacceptable among the socialites. Your manners must be perfect. Buy the most detailed book on having good manners you can find, then learn it by heart.
     
   • Be cultured. Read a lot, visit museums and art galleries, go to the theatre, meet artists and poets. Also keep in mind that it is unacceptable for a socialite not to know anything related to common knowledge; remember that if a 7th grader knows it, you're supposed to know it too. Re-familiarize yourself with basic history, science, geography and art.
     
     • Speak properly. No slang whatsoever; cursing is also unacceptable. Use The Queen's English. Occasionally drop in some French words (like calling somebody “cheri” instead of “darling”). Use formal rather than informal language, both in speaking and in writing.
       
     
     
   • Be confident. As glamorous as it may seem, the socialites' world is very gossipy and mean; and you'll need loads of confidence to make it through it all. If you don't consider yourself worthy enough to be among them, they won't either. Not to mention you often need witty comebacks when someone says something mean to you; and a person without confidence can't quickly say something witty back to them.
     
   • Be classy and discrete. Avoid doing things that draw negative attention to you, such as being very loud, getting drunk at parties, flirting with everyone that crosses your path, or cursing.
     
   • Be fashionable. It is crucial that you have a sense of style and wear stylish, tailored clothes- and brand names make a huge difference. Everything you wear in public should be designer. Adopt a classy, timeless style; something that now looks just as good as it looked in the '50s, and just as good as it will look over 50 years. For ladies, get inspired by Jackie O., Charlotte from Sex and the City and Audrey Hepburn. For gentlemen, a tailored suit will always do it. Also, you should have a signature look that distinguishes you from other people- a fetish for a certain color, a nice haircut, whatever.
     
   
   
5. Travel a lot. There are some travel destinations you may not miss as a socialite- New York (obviously), Paris, London, Milan, Rome. Take the time to visit all the important places there.
   
   • This goes for holiday destinations as well. Summer in the Hamptons (many famous people have summer houses in there) and winter in Aspen- these are the regular vacation spots for rich people. Other exotic, expensive destinations go as well- Hawaii, the Caribbean, Dubai, Greece.
     
   • Avoid acting like the stereotypical tourist; many people, especially the locals, find it annoying. Don't combine a colorful T-shirt and some shorts with white sports shoes, a big backpack, a baseball cap, sunglasses and a huge camera hanging at your neck (the typical tourist outfit). Don't buy tons of cheap, tacky souvenirs. Don't travel in large groups- your family or significant other is enough.
     
   
   
6. Be generous. The number one thing that you must do if you want to be a socialite is this- give. Yes, and you should have a few charities under your belt. The great thing about this part is that it can be whatever you want, whatever amount you want, be it $30 or $20,000. You don't have to tell people about how much you gave; just tell them about the cause. And as you go up the ranks you will be able to give more. Oh, and there are perks like meeting celebrities, the affluent, intellectuals, politicians, artists and free things like gifts, free access to facilities, and rooms not open to the public. For a good example, check out the Metropolitan Art Museum in New York.
   
7. Socialize. After all, that's what being a socialite is all about.
   
   • Make friends wherever you go. Whether you're at the local supermarket or at a posh event, you meet a lot of new people every day. Be friendly, appear interested in the person you're talking to, exchange phone numbers. But don't worry too much about establishing a genuine, lasting friendship with all those people. Keep your circle of close friends small, but establish superficial relationships with as many people as you can- you never know when you might need them. Remember, it's all about building a well-rounded social network; many of the "friendships" you'll establish will be for the sole purpose of gaining some advantages.
     
     • Better yet, befriend the right people. A little chit-chat with the local it-girl can go a long way. Having a few socialite friends will come in very handy; after all, the simplest definition of being a socialite is hanging out with other socialites.
       
     
     
   • Learn about event planning, and cultivate your taste in things like flowers, appetizers, music, etc. As a socialite, you'll be expected to throw some big, stylish events and parties. When you finally get your big break and your committee asks you to help plan some gala, this will come in handy. Reading Vogue (particularly the articles chronicling events thrown by real socialites) should help you develop this intuition. Of course, there will be a lot of people to help you plan an event, like your PR assistant, secretary and so on, but you must know how to organize them all. Get some phone numbers of service providers like caterers, decorators, DJs etc.; they're extremely useful.
     
   • Have the magical C word- charisma. Don't be a bore. It's pretty easy- just act like you're having a great time. Smile a lot, have interesting conversations with other people at parties, be lively and energetic. As you spend more time around socialites, you will learn a few tricks about charming your audience.
     
   • Be photographed next to VIPs. Photos of important people always appear in newspapers and magazines the day after an event- and you may have the chance to hit Page Six if there's someone famous next to you. But don't make it too obvious- like rushing by the closest socialite as soon as photographers enter your line of sight- that's just pathetic.
     
   • Seek real friendship with some people. You will still need someone to be there for you when you fail- someone who would not alienate you from the very moment you show them your less perfect sides.
     
   
   

Surviving in the world of the rich and famous & what not to do

1. Don’t be a total social climber. These specimens are immediately detected and removed from the social scene; their desperation to become a socialite can be sensed in an instant. Being tagged as a social climber is the worst thing that can happen to an aspiring socialite.
   
   • Don’t go out of your way just for meeting someone. Even if you happen to run across a VIP, don’t freak out; just be natural and treat them like you would treat any other person. If there’s someone you know from magazines or socialite blogs, but you haven’t been introduced to them, don’t say ‘hi’ to them. Doing all sorts of crazy stuff only to meet someone, like stressing out their personal assistant to make them give you their phone number, is also a big no-no.
     
   • Don’t be desperate about getting into somebody’s good graces. Putting yourself in a position of inferiority to someone would do nothing but make that someone treat you like you were inferior. Have some dignity.
     
   • Don’t auto-invite yourself to parties; this is extremely rude. Not to mention it’s very likely that the bodyguards will never let you in without an invitation, but as soon as the host notices you, you’ll be out of there in an instant; and you can say goodbye forever to other parties and events.
     
   
   
2. Avoid controversy and scandals as much as possible. Do your best to keep your public image clean. No sex tapes, no drugs, no controversial divorces, no public breakdowns and scenes. Be respectable and mind your morals. Stay cool and collected even when you’re raging mad. If someone did something bad to you, find a civilized way to deal with the situation.
   
3. Learn to deal with malicious gossip. Some people are very mean and catty, but don’t let yourself be affected by what they say. Remember that scandal Olivia Palermo was dragged into, which led to the closing of Socialite Rank? Her reputation was ruined soon after that, but she managed to end the charade by revealing the identity of those behind the bitchy, malicious socialite blog Socialiterank.com and defend her public image.
   
   • Sometimes it's better not to reveal some things from your past (only if you're 100% sure they're not going to be discovered anyway). Don't give gossipers more material, so they can say more mean things about you. Of course, we're talking here about innocent little things that may get misinterpreted. If, for example, you had a nose job when you were still young and unknown, don't talk about it, if you don't want people to go like, "She's totally fake; just another manufactured beauty".
     
   • The best way to bring gossipers to silence is to laugh it off and admit that you’re not perfect (even if society expects you to). By acting like that, you’ll gain many admirers and you’ll still be able to walk with your head held high, no matter what is said about you.
     
   
   
4. Don't lose yourself. In a world as superficial and materialistic as that of socialites, it's very easy to forget who you really are and where you come from. Whenever you feel like it, take a break and unwind, to avoid turning into a very shallow person. Always keep in mind your personal values.
   

Useful links

http://www.fashion.net/
http://www.luxuryculture.com/welcome.html
http://www.style.com/
http://parkavepeerage.com/

Related wikiHows

• How to Stand out at Social Gatherings and Parties
  
• How to Have a Socialite Attitude
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Become a Socialite. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

FeFe Dobson Update: Jockin' My Fresh

Honey magazine interviewed FeFe Dobson and I just had to put my two cents in...

I was not an original fan of FeFe Dobson. I really, really wasn't. However, listening to her as of late, her style, her tattoos even...she was the originated, and duplicated by Rihanna. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for Rihanna, but lately these days I don't BELIEVE Rihanna.

Rihanna doesn't talk during interviews, she doesn't act like this rocker-chic diva that she poses to be. She was a super "dance hall queen" to quote FeFe, and now she's the total opposite. I'm one to say, absolutely not people most certainly can evolve and come in touch with a new side of themselves bringing forth a new style. I myself, feel that my style has evolved A LOT from what it used to be and now it's a lot different with hints of my past. However, FeFe IS the actual rocker-chic person. That is who she actually is.

Rihanna...doesn't even have an album out.

She's going to restaurants every 20 minutes in haute couture outfits to be stalked and photographed and as much as I LIVE & BREATHE to see her outfits cause I worship her style..that's all she has..is style. In which, her and Ciara share the same stylist, Mariel..so is that really her style?

I feel like FeFe Dobson was always this way from jump, and the sad part is that when she debuted NO ONE I mean absolutely NO ONE was interested in hearing a Black girl do rock music. We were all bumping Britney, and Rihanna didn't even exist as dance hall queen at the time. When FeFe first came out on the scene I was in my senior year of high school and she's always been the same girl.
I live for Rihanna's style, but I don't believe her personality is what she tries to make it seem it is. You can't fake being a rocker. You either are, or you aren't.

Rihanna even has the SAME tattoos as FeFe....to me, she's really "jockin' her fresh". Rihanna is the haute couture version of FeFe Dobson, and unfortunately, FeFe has been swagger jacked by Rihanna in every way possible. From tattoos to Grammy awards and it's sad.
Read the Honey Magazine article here and decide for yourself...

New Jack Update: So·cial·ite

• Main Entry: so·cial·ite
• Pronunciation: \ˈsō-shə-ˌlīt\
• Function: noun
• Date: 1928

: a socially prominent person

I think the definition is really what speaks for itself.

In coming to the turning point, I've truly had my mind racing about all the things that I want to do, and that not only want, but I'm TRYING to do. The sad part is, I never felt that I could label it specifically. I don't want to be confined. I obviously have my starter, and primary niche, which is this: writing. However, aside from writing, I've been getting my model game up hard. I've been offered a lot of paid gigs and I know exactly how as a model I see myself. I refuse to box myself in to just urban-video-vixen-like modeling and what I love, is that I've been getting offers outside of that niche. For example, Amber Rose is and did start as very much a video-vixen, but she is the ONLY, I repeat ONLY video vixen that is signed to Ford models.

...Sorry, Melyssa Ford and Buffie the Body.

And what I'm loving is that I've been hustling and I'm going to be on my Amber Rose game, because other people are not just boxing me in anymore.

Aside from my writing and model game, I always do an excellent job of party planning. I've been trying to work my way in to a couple party promotion gigs. That's something you truly have to work from the bottom up for so I've been trying to wedge my way in. That's coming along very slowly, but I'm confident that surely it will come along. Especially with my Bachelor's in Music Industry, I know what my peers like, musically, socially, and visually. I feel as if I have a true connection with how to put together a party. From a theme, to music, to lighting, to decorations, to liquor served, to gift bags, you name it. It's like, why not do what you're good at? This is something I KNOW I'm good at.

As much as I think babies are not the new black, I still want to take care of a couple. Oddly, with my age..they're starting to create a soft spot in me. I'm still not too ready for them and their opinions past the age of 1 1/2 years old but, I want to help. Awhile ago I was looking into a volunteer program that you make gift baskets for the birthdays of terminally ill children. I really wanted to participate in that, but they didn't select me as a volunteer. I'm not going to let that deter me though. I'm looking to volunteer with something similar as what I've described above, and aiding little girls with self-esteem issues. When the winter comes around, I want to go at least two Saturday's a month to aid The Significant with Harlem Little League.
I mean, The Significant dedicates such a huge portion of the year to Harlem Little League, he loves each and every single one of those children. He goes in the dead of winter, for their indoor practice clinic and he goes in the heat of summer for every game-Monday-Saturday. He doesn't question, he doesn't second guess, he makes his plans AROUND the children. Every time I go with him he inspires me so much, just the way he is with kids and his dedication to them. It's about time I did the same and take care of someone who might just need me.

In all of this, I've just tried repeatedly to find a title. A single title. When someone asks you, "What do you want to do with your life?" or "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And no one wants to hear the episode reel: party planner, life journalist, prominent blogger, model, fashion look-book director, so on & so on. People want things now, concise, to the point...

So why not call it what it is, a Socialite.

Of course, a couple of bottles in V.I.P. never hurt anyone...to quote Jim Jones, "Champagne to us, is nothing but mouthwash".

The Turning Point

There's a reason.

There's a reason for it all no matter how lost and confused I am half the days of my life, but there is a reason. For the first time in 23 years, I'm realizing it's okay to not know what that reason is right away because God knows what that reason is. My BFF, Linette has always pointed out my high levels of negativity and for so long I never saw eye-to-eye with what she was saying until now. I have such a loud, new, fresh out look on life because I think I finally realize now that there's a reason.

I may not know the reason right away, but I'm now truly content with knowing that there's a reason altogether.

There's a reason why I was the one who came up with, "The New Jack"; There's a reason why I was the one to come up with "Shoes From Last Night"; There's a reason why The Significant always got caughtcheating; A rason why I was downgraded to the car I now have; A reason why I lost this past job I had; A reason why I've been in Jamaica, the place of my birth for four days for fucking free at that.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, that has happened in my past, negatively matters...

It's all been a set up for some things I couldn't forsee, but always the right thing for me. For example, I've been so miserable of the car downgrade that I endured only 10 days after my birthday, the accident that cause all that drama...no car for two whole months and financial woes I'm still playing catch up on. You couldn't tell me I wasn't being punished. A month after geting this lesser valued car, I lost my job. Howwould I have supported the higher valued car had I been unemployed? Now, not saying that upkeeping this one with no job will be cake, but imagine if I would've got in June, a 2009 car. How would I have paid the lease plus insurance payment? In getting a 1997 car, I only have an insurance payment to deal with, and from my last pay check from my job I've used it to pay my insurance through October. I couldn't see the reason but I see it now.God had a plan for me. i just didn't know about it. So instead, I just was a prick for 2 1/2 months to just get hit with, "duh".

With 'The New Jack', I've always been stressing looking for web help because I've been ready to take things to the next, next level. But maybe, it's just wasn't time yet. It seems that maybe I've just found the help I was looking for because the domain expires in 3 weeks. Just enough time for me to the the grand conversion. There's a reason I wrote this on paper, on a balcony at a 5-star resort...I feel like, it's the turning point. I finally realize that the ability to write is something wat put here, but Him, I didn't buy it somewhere. There's a reason why we moved to New York from Jamaica, my family. There's a reason why I know who I know. And even if I don't get the full reason all the time, does it really truly matter if He knows the reason?

No, it doesnt. I believe in my sould now that it doesn't matter.

Tightrope walkers never look down, for where your head goes, your body goes. They look at where they're trying to get to, for it doesn't matter if you're sure of if you're going to get across but He knows if and how to get you across. So why have I spent so much time focusing on the how, when someone else already knows, "the way" to? I've been so deeply rooted in negativity, since 2007. Another turning point, leaving a total comfort zone & falling straight into the fire pit head first. I've had my ups but I've been forever focused on the downs and it's true, Linette has tried to show me and she's been right....
Linette has always been relaxed in "the way to", never the "how to". I joke on her for what I've always considered to be her lack of reality, bt she consistently relaxes in "the way to". It's never "how are we getting to Manhattan" or "how are we paying for this meal" or "Are we sure we're getting a ride to this location". It's always "Dee, we know the way to Manhattan, so just start looking up train times". I've been doing so much thinking...I really wishI could get it all out.

All I know is...
I'm ready to change. I'm ready to live. I'm ready to love. I'm ready to immerse myself in the good. I'm ready to believe and I'm ready to trust. I might be scared of it, because indeed, trust is the biggest fear of all for me, but I'm ready to try it again. Some times, it may hurt, more than I think I can bare. But truth be told, even when it hurts, would I still be here standing if it wasn't something I could survive? Wouldn't I have crumbled already?

But I am standing...and that's not a dream.
No matter how much it hurts, I'm still standing. Because He is holding me by that tightrope harness.

So if I know that for a fact, then why look down?

New Jack Update: SFLN

Shoes From Last Night.

"Like TFLN, but shoes are way more important than texts"

I started a new blog over the course of this weekend. For a starting fact, I own a minimum of 70 pairs of shoes. I'm not sure where to put them anymore, and they're ALL over my room. The Significant complains incessantly of how he always has to walk and hop over them in my bedroom, inclusive of the millions of other things on the floor in my room. I've truly gotten bad. Now that I've been fired, and have...umm, more time on my hands, I'm actually going to do a wild mass cleanup in here....

The issue still remains that I don't know WHERE to put all the shoes. I actually have two closets, plus I've dedicated two sections of two different walls of just boxes and shoes in THOSE boxes stacked from floor to ceiling, then I have some strays in Ma Dukes' room and some strays in the living room which drives her nuts. Some kids get yelled at for washing dishes, I get yelled at to pick up my shoes.

As usual, I was parading around Manhattan, in..."celebration" of getting fired and a birthday. Any excuse to open a bottle of Patron is fine by me. I debuted a pair of cuties that are a staggering 5" tall, but oddly, oddly enough..really comfortable. It's so weird that it all struck me as a lightening bolt, but there is a real reason behind why I got fired..and it's not their reason why. Writing is truly what I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm very excited about SFLN; it's like having a second baby, not that babies were the new black to begin with. The New Jack will be 2 in October and now I have a new baby. But just as with all children, especially young ones in my time not working, I need to focus on caring for both. There's been plenty a time that things have been going on in life and I've neglected my first born. I don't want to make that mistake anymore. In my time not working, I want to work on both of these, attend the gym daily, cook for my family and try to find the job that I do want. It's lurking...and I needed to get fired essentially for it to come to me.

So while I'm waiting on that, I might as well talk about something I do like...

...Shoes....

New Jack Update: Mold & Mildew

"Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own."-Eminem

This has been an interesting month of July, all-in-all. It's been filled with mold ithe n many more ways than I could've forseen. The only way to flip a negative to a positive is to analyze that the month of July was filled with mold, a semi-poison that in most instances is hazardous to humans, and at the end of the month, today, August 1st, all the poison has been sucked out.

So, let's backtrack through the poison...

The job woes of June where everything was continuously going wrong with marekting dollars that I truly couldn't handle just transitioned right into the month of July. A complete snowball effect. Despite this, I'm not going to live at my place of employment when it is not the path of my career...it was a means to pay the bills and gain some experience. Experience. The thing that everyone said I needed to elevate to where I want to be, and boy did I get experience, and daily it was way more negative than positive. After 17 months of it, the poison truly weighed me down..I was truly heading back into a low-low point that I was regarding this position last winter. Where I was feeling swaggerjacked in every sense of the word.

Companies, Suppliers that would come, that I straight up did all the work for and my bosses would look at me, and walk around me and not introduce me. Or even better, wrongly introduce and give credit to others for my work. After all the breaking down, "whippings & beatings", tears I've shed, personality lost, I saw no greater mistreatment than this.
And though I believe "revenge is best served on a cold dish", the Bible advises against being vengeful so much and in the oddest rarity, I agree. All the mistreatment and misery I've suffered through that I could reel off the tongue, I seek not revenge.

In the tears that welled up in my eyes yesterday, I seek not revenge.
The acts of mistreatment in comparison to other members on my "team", and constantly being positioned as the black sheep, I seek not revenge.

Instead, I pity. Their behavior, their setup is such as a mold that will eat away at them, the same it ate away at me.
Ironically, two weeks ago, I suffered from such a physical poisoning as I actually ingested mold and for 3 whole days, it felt as if the lining of my stomach had disolved or had been eaten away. Such as the bread mold ate away at me and make me sick, is the same way the mold will eat away at them, so revenge not I seek.

If anyone to back track to all the things I've ever had to say, there was nothing ever positive. It was a daily grind and respected as such, until the full-on swaggerjacking began.

So I might be back at stage 1 of The New Jack, no job just like I didnt have when I first began writing in 2007 and I don't know how I'm going to pay the bills, just like back then, but I know that I'm free.

Hurt, but free.
Not vengeful, but free.
Penniless, but free.

Free from a true poison, of mold and mildew. I look forward to my next job, being poison-free.

Watchmen

I've been so busy watching everyone else for so long and measuring their success to pave the path of my own; to use The Secret and attract my own success....

If not more than obvious, I haven't been writing...
I've been too busy watching. I look at my blog, and see how robots and spam have massacred my page views. Instead of acting to fix it, I've gone to other blog sites and just watched their level of success and felt myself build up with anger and envy.

I've been complaining and feeling trapped, but watch the piles of things in my bedroom permitting me from walking around it.

I sit on Facebook, and watch and read about the successes of what seems to be all my fellow alumni and then watch that my level of success doesn't match and that they're all doing what they wanted to do right out of college whereas I still had to wait 9 months to get in the game and then I'm still not doing what I want to do. Watching them, being miserable, and watching more intently.

I have reached out to too many people for assistance with Wordpress, as I'm undergoing severe difficulty utilizing it despite importing all of The New Jack into it. Instead of reading the new CSS/HTML book I've bought (not that I have all the time in the world), I've been watching it. I remember I used to ask people to help make me a layout for this current The New Jack, and after asking for months from different people, I did it myself. The only person that there truly is to thank, is myself.

My goal is to drop about 20-30 lbs. Instead of doing anything, I've been watching everyone that's been looking way better than I have been and just feeling envious. Or, I sit around looking at pictures of myself when I was slimmer & happier, and feel remorseful for letting myself go.

I've been job hunting, but not as hard as I could be, and instead, I'm just watching people get promotions, watching fellow alumni get the positions they want and not putting action behind what I want.

Instead of looking for a photographer for the ideas I've had, or finding a way to get these photos of myself done, myself (which for what I have in mind would be extremely difficult) I stop and stare at other people's photos. Wishing I had the photographers they have, wishing I had the same network.

Where has playing the watchman gotten me?
Absolutely nowhere.....

I find that, I'm always clouded by thought. Thought, desire, moods, feelings, wishes...clouded to a point that I'm paralyzed by them. I don't back the thoughts, desires, moods, feelings, wishes. I let them hang above me as the "I want to"-list or, the "I wish I had"-list. Is there any point in a list, if I'm not crossing anything off of it to make the list smaller?

I compare, and batter and bruise myself so much..
No one hurts me, more than me.

I have to stop hurting me, and start watching me. Instead, of watching everyone else. I'm not progressing not because something is wrong with me, or that I can't make things come true for myself. I'm not progressing myself, because I'm always too busy hurting myself.

I have to stop playing the role of the Watchman. I have to start progressing.

I have to start now.

New Jack Update: I'm thinking to flip, especially now that recession's here

It seems of late, like Day n Nite by Kid Cudi is essentially becoming my theme song..
I just don't need the Jim Jones part regarding court, "Sorry Judge" to wedge it's way into my life. That might be a little too much into his reality that I don't want to delve into...

However, I'm noticing how quickly I'm running out of options. With the rug being pulled from under my feet repeatedly & consistently, I have no choice but to act. The thing is, it's how it's looking I'm going to have to act is what stresses me...

More after my place of employment...

New Jack Update: How I feel Sometimes

They say "A picture means a 1,000 words", and this picture is exactly that to me. Despite the fact that I am heterosexual, this picture was in regards to same-sex marriage in California and was taken this past Memorial Day weekend and my heart goes out to them. {Image: Getty}

I'm working hard or at least, dreaming and thinking hard about this blog because of all it stands for, for me personally. I think people derive entertainment from it, and in some instances it causes them to think a little deeper...but this whole thing started as a private-public journal. Though same-sex marriage rights are way harder to come by, I've been thinking a great deal lately of all the people I'm hearing about my own age being fired from their jobs for..well, their own human rights. Their right to expression. People update their feelings and doings on Twitter, their social drinking on Myspace and Facebook and use Blogger and WordPress as a sort of, open diary. Though my current place of employment is not and has not brought up anything in recent times to my blogging-because they have before, and I will not stop; it makes me wonder if this will in turn prevent me from getting another job.

As I look to move forward and progress with my life, by tailoring my employment more to the lines of what I think I'm suited to wear, I indeed wonder.

I feel like I'm constantly in battle, as if I'm constantly fighting for rights that I believed so easily to have....

Freedom of Expression.

New Jack Update: This is Weird

My first vlog...

My face looks HUGE....

I did it from my Blackberry...

Did I mention, that my face looks HUGE?

New Jack Update: "This is weird" from New Jack on Vimeo.

New Jack Update: Out of School Suspension

Another rough week in the bag...

I got suspended from work...and quite frankly, I've been so high strung off of it that I want to put other people in the "time out" corner themselves. As a child, I never once experienced "out of school suspension" or as my high school counterparts dubbed it, "OSS". The idea that it's happening to me now, as a 23 year old adult makes me feel like a deliqent of some sort.

...Not a feeling I'm comfortable with....

I'm also so frustrated with the rate of repair between The Significant and I, that even though I know I shouldn't be, I'm so annoyed that I almost want to give him an OSS of his own. One that's actually, not particularly just...

I didn't finish my spring cleaning either...many would beg to question by looking at the state of affairs, if I actually begun...
To top it off, as of tomorrow, I'm car-less once again...

I'm trying hard not to dictate and follow in the ways of "The Secret" and NOT say that 2009 is NOT my year and that 2008 was TOO good. I'm going to withold to my resolutions, follow "The Secret" and keep my thoughts clean...

More after a hopeful goodnight's rest, and a somewhat peaceful day at my place of employment tomorrow...

I'm Going to Tanya Harding a Ho

My car is officially totaled..

As in, non-existent...non functional...not here...not to be repaired.

They cut me a check, and despite the economic times & my far from stellar credit I took my dollars and dreams and spent the entire weekend in higher spirits feeling on Friday I was going to OWN a Pontiac G6-GT.
Instead, today is Sunday and I'm confined to my home with no transportation and no hopes of a car unless I come up with $3,000.

What the HELL happened to me in April 2009?

I started the month with a salary cut, right off the back...glided into a workers comp injury..lost a total of probably 7 days from work which turned out to do way more damage to my life than good rest to my soul..then slid into a car accident, for them to to find the person who blatantly crashed into me NOT at fault & my car total out, leaving me the victim...car less.

Again, what exactly...did I do wrong for April 2009 besides want to celebrate my 23rd birthday in peace & happiness? Try to embrace the old woman-wrinkle club swag?
Cause really, April 2009 destroyed my swag and what I don't like is overflow...and it's apparently flowing over into May 2009 which I'm going to need to come to a complete hault immediately.

Thanks Jesus, with love, Management.

These varied unpretty April 2009 situations truly make me want to come through and "Tanya Harding" someone. Like the person who crashed into me...like the police officers who didn't really care...like my lack of control for not having the credit to turn around & buy a new car...like my job for giving salary cuts at the most inopportune time in all of history with no real proper warning so people could PLAN...

I'm just NOT seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I expressed that recently to Boss Lady. That I just don't see it, don't feel it and everything that's happening to me is screaming that there isn't one...
I feel myself just getting plain angry. Which is not within my character. I get upset, sad, very frustrated and can be a crybaby, but not just generally angry. Everything I do, I just feel anger about.

I guess, in all my anger someone should really keep an eye on me...
And keep me away from golf clubs...

New Jack Update: HA HA HEE HEE HAHA HO

I'm so stressed out....

It seems like I'm working with no lights at the end of the tunnel...or it seems like the tunnel isn't ending either..

There's so much happening that I feel like my monetary is getting worse, my work load is getting worse & the things that are happening to me are just adding up..

It's funny that a friend said to me on Twitter "Muslims across America are laughing at everyone"..in regards to the SwineFlu epidemic. I responded to him by saying: "lmao about Muslims laughin at our piggy loving asses..straight up Britney HA HA HEE HEE HAHA HO"

First, we had MadCow disease and now, it's the SwineFlu....

With all I'm going through lately especially at work...I almost wish someone would beam a pig into my lap....

"Haha heehee haha ho"

New Jack Update: HA HA HEE HEE HAHA HO

I straight up need someone to beam like Star Trek a pig filled with swine flu into my lap like yesterday....like yesterday. I'm so stressed out I would rather be bitten by 8 piglets right now....

Ugh..

More after the place of employment....