I got into the biggest fight with my parents which ended with these conclusions from them...
- I'm irresponsible
- I'm worthless for still being unemployed after 6 months
- Don't use plastic cups you didn't pay for....or anything else you didn't pay for actually
- I use their house as a "hotel"
- My friends and I are not "children"
- My boyfriend is classless
- New Jack+passion+Time=everything BUT finding a job
- I don't "live" here
- Despite being unemployed, I should still get up at 7am as if I had a job to exhibit "drive"
- I have utilized the library
- I am comfortable with a banking account that is sitting in a negative for days now, not having a car and not starting a career
The only way that one could truly absorb the magnitude of what I've written is only if the actual fight was recorded.
My conclusions:
- People think that I enjoy NOT having a job/money/independence
- I purposely stay away from home because of stress like this
- My mother has never liked me, which isn't news to me and insists on repeatedly confirming it
- No one in my family never knew what my true passions were anyway so who are you to tell me what my passion is anyhow
- Every time I think I'm turning things around...they stop half way
- I'm beginning to question my faith in God/Jesus/That Bubble AGAIN
- My life can never be stable with happiness..for some reason, I've done something I'm not aware of that the Karma has come that I should spend my adult life in misery
- I wish people knew The Significant that only few of us really do
- Its things like this that truly reinforce me wanting to STOP trying altogether because it's adding up to nothing
- I'm trying desperately to hold on to my ideas that 2008 is really going to be a turn around for me-positively
Maybe this is what the distance of going away to college does...the people who you think know you the best after 4 years realize they didn't know you at all...
2 comments:
Don't let your parents get u down. I don't think your mom doesn't like you; I think that she hasn't been our age so long she forgot the pressures of being young.
I started thinking the other day: "Why the hell did I go to college when so many people who didn't can make six figures and I'm making $8.00 an hour @ some dinkity chocolate shop?!?!" But that's my take...I feel ya tho on that unemployment (I don't consider Godiva a real 'job')...try something in the federal realm tho: http://www.usajobs.opm.gov/ . Wishing nothing but luck and success...
p.s. Mind if I smoke that blunt with u darlin? Lemmie kno.....
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