A bitter level under the weather

Man, I don't know but this feeling has GOT to go....

I'm so unbelievably lonely. I'm miserable. I know a part of it has to do with me not having a job and I'm always HOME. I feel like I'm not interacting with people, cause I don't have a car to do anything nor do I have a job that requires me to interact with people. I'm an extremely social person and when I feel as if my social network is cut off I'm not sure how to act.
Now, this behavior is coming out in a very bitter, harsh manner. I just gave about an hour's worth of attitude to my significant other for absolutely no reason, especially reason unbeknown to him. He inquired several times if I was just upset with him for being asleep when I called. In which, I wasn't. I knew he had worked Black Friday and was in Manhattan from the crack of dawn. I KNEW he was tired.

Maybe, when you're lonely you take it out on the person you want to be around the most?

I definitely gave it to him for the last hour...
I'm not proud of it either.....

Something I don't understand about several women, especially like myself right now: Why do we push the person we want to be around the most the FURTHEST away? Its so weird how the female mind can work, I don't blame men for being annoyed and frustrated with us. Instead of outright explaining to my significant that I'm sad, miserable, lonely, want to see him and feel like my brain is wasting away I somehow in my twisted femininity thought that it was practical to give attitude until he no longer wanted to speak to me.

I'm shocked he lasted an hour...
I feel really guilty, more sad and more lonely than I was before and because of how the conversation ended, I feel a sprinkle of rejection. None of this adds up to a pot of gold......

In other news, I'm still very desperate to see my shots from the photo shoot I did on Tuesday. I personally believed that it went well, but maybe in my sad mood you know when you BELIEVE you've done well you might not necessarily have done so....
I want to get some new pictures out there, get the feedback and start to analyze what I didn't do well on so I can begin improvement. I was contacted by 2 photographers in the last two days who found me on Myspace and are interested in doing a shoot with me. I'm so eager to review these last shots in order to be IMPROVED for the next shoot.

Astro Overview (Lifescript)

The waxing Moon enters dualistic Gemini at 6:29 am EST, followed by the Full Moon at 9:30 am EST that tests our authenticity, for we might not say what we believe. Our emotions can shift quickly, but our opinions remain more constant. Nevertheless, our core political and religious viewpoints may need to be updated periodically. With mental Mercury squaring fuzzy Neptune, we must be careful about allowing irrational feelings to overrule cool logic.

Aries Horoscope:
Being nice to yourself is one thing; over-indulgence is something else. Unfortunately, moderation may be elusive today, unless you keep your awareness focused. You feel compelled to express what's on your mind, even if it's not in your best interest. Before saying anything, try to see the facts from the other person's point of view. This can help you maintain a healthier perspective.

Yeah, so maybe my failed attempt at expressing my sadness to my significant other.....should be a sign.....