Mars 07 Retrograde

Okay, let me open by saying that I do believe in God.....just as a disclaimer...I don't know which religious freaks might be reading my page, so I don't want to be burned alive, I'm dark enough, thanks.

I do however also believe in astrology. I believe that God did align the stars and planets in a particular order bearing some affect on us. Maybe, for me who believes in that stuff, I feel so unbelievably NOT me because Mars decided TODAY was a great time to go into retrograde and stay that way until JANUARY 30TH. I CANNOT be so weak for all that time. Hells no. I cannot be so mushy, gay, miserable and cuddly until practically February of 2008. For those who don't know I am an Aries, and my direct ruling planet is Mars. It represents all the key facets of what most Aries are known to be: impatient, extremely aggressive, blunt, assertive etc. It drives the very testosterone part of The New Jack. To know that I'm going to be a full blown broad for 2 1/2 months is not pleasing to me. I can only cry but SO much, and it disgusts me. ***OTHER SIGNS AFFECTED BY THE RETROGRADE: ARIES,CANCER,LIBRA,SCORPIO AND CAPRICORN.

Assertive Mars turns retrograde today, reminding us that progress cannot be rushed. We benefit from being patient, waiting to see where our feelings lead until Mars turns direct on January 30. However, red-hot Mars in watery Cancer can have us seething, unless we consciously figure out how to constructively express our anger. The Moon's entry into intelligent Aquarius at 6:29 pm EST helps us get a lighter perspective on our emotional attachments. (Lifescript)

It disgusts me, let me repeat that ONE more time, it disgusts me. Every astro warning in LIFE has told me basically that in nice words I'm going to be a fag. Now, I'm trying to see this as positive as possible. Never mind the fact that after crying/sleeping/eating all day long I didn't think it was possible for me to cry anymore. Until my boyfriend, Mj calls and simply said "Baby, are you ok?" and then I spent the next 2 hours on the phone with him in hysterics explaining EVERYTHING to him until I was so exhausted I don't even remember falling asleep. There's a reason why I'm not OVERLY feminine. I mean, I am a girly girl and people know that but my testosterone levels are pretty apparent in my speech and diction. Being overly feminine is SO exhausting. I'm not sure if people are aware. You cry, so much. You flip out over absolutely nothing even when proven it has no basis there's still some disgusting need to wail and cry and make a scene. I can't do it, it tires me out so much and I get like that only around my period in which for that week I'm entirely asleep because of how emotional I am. To think, that I could be in that condition for the next 2 months gives me a HEADACHE.

Here's another:
Family is your overriding concern while ruling planet Mars is retrograde in Cancer from 11/15-1/30. Spend more time at home with your significant other-you'll be surprised at how much domesticity suits you. It's proof you've been craving stability lately. (Allure Magazine November 2007)**Buy the latest issue of Allure Magazine with J. Lo on the cover, excellent new articles. www.allure.com

Family damn straight is my OVERRIDING concern cause all that's been happening is incessant fighting with my parents. My ONLY refuge has truly been Mj. He'll drop anything to be here and either take me from this house or stay with me in this house God forbid he hears a sniffle in my voice. He has gone out of his way the last month to spend time with me, though I cannot lie some of our fights have been derived from me becoming a psycho. Mars slowly inching towards its retrograde has made me flip on him for the most ridiculous of things. Shit I wouldn't even post cause I feel so guilty realizing that he's here regardless. Mj is an Aries as well. Our birthdays are 4 years and 10 days apart-4/4/1982 vs. 4/14/1986. I haven't really seen the retrograde effects in him as yet in the last couple weeks. Strange. I just have noted a stronger desire to be closer to me.

Hopefully, Mj, myself and other Aries learn to put the chill factor on and get a good goddamn lesson between today and January 30th. Positively thinking, I'm looking forward to it...