Sunday, May 15, 2011


I'm back at Argyle Lake-2 days after my 25th birthday. I'm truly not sure what it is that I'm feeling exactly, but I would be lying if I said 25 feels..different.
It may sound silly, but it feels wiser if wisdom had a specific tingle of a feeling. In my mind, I'm reviewing my wardrobe and things that I've held on to for sentimental feelings, I'm starting to realize I won't ever wear again. I feel as if its "childish".

So is that it? Has my youth officially come to an end?

If that's the case, I feel a bit nervous. I will never be a size 4 again, or have I actually acquired enough information to carry me into adulthood? I know nothing of stocks and bonds, or how to move my existing 401k account into an IRA something I actually need to do. I suddenly feel the need to be in control of my health-especially stress wise. I've stressed over many equally relevant and irrelevant situations in the last 4 years that I'm sure hasn't added anything positive to my well being. A lot of the worst situations (an arrest, miscarriage) in my life are truly in the past. What exactly do I have left to stress over? Yes, indeed I'm unemployed and much more but I'm truly coming into the "wisdom" that the stress I put upon myself hasn't garnered me an interview or salary package, so its absolutely pointless. I do look at some younger counterparts and say to myself "had I done things differently-didnt stress this bad relationship, didn't fight with this friend, just apologized, just did the presentation" my life would be positively altered by this point. At least though I can say, I don't have to continue living life with regrets. I stop now and ask myself about every minute detail-"what do YOU want, do YOU want this" before proceeding. Making the decisions or not feeling as if its being made FOR me is such an amazing comfort.

I have to stress less and do more. I have to experience and see more. I feel a little nervous about being as old as in my own mind 25 is but at least I'm ready to make the transition into 25 and happy.