Saturday, August 29, 2009

How to become a So-cial-ite

Based off of the other entry I wrote, I found this entertaining...I like when things come with instructions...

How to Become a Socialite

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Do you really want to be a socialite? The socialites that we see in the media already have their wealth and status from the day they were born. More than likely you are starting from scratch. To get the know-how, don't look at Paris Hilton or Ivanka Trump. Watch Mr. Hilton and Mr. Trump and you are on your way to becoming a socialite. Well, it is hard work, but this is for those social climbers out there who want to put an impressionable foot in the door. This guide will help you get into there, the rest is up to you!


Climbing up the social ladder and making a name for yourself
  1. Create the suitable background for yourself. Your roots are very important for other socialites; one without a prestigious familial background is often qualified as "unsuitable" for becoming a socialite. As most people that come across this page, you're probably not filthy rich, unlike socialites who will expect you to have something fabulous to say about your background. In this case, be reclusive about your past. When people ask you about your early life -and they will-, think of some interesting details to tell them. Avoid any embarrassing details and focus on saying positive things. Rich people want their entourage to come from a good familial background (and good means rich here) for a very simple reason: they want to surround themselves with well-educated people. So, as long as you are mannered and proper, they won't care that much.
  2. Get the right education. Preparation for becoming a socialite begins in middle school. Of course, it is possible to become a socialite even if you weren’t brilliant in middle and high school and didn’t attend prestigious colleges, but it’s much harder.
    • If you are still in middle school or high school, make the best you can out of your school years. Get excellent grades (B’s are the lowest grades accepted, C’s are unacceptable), get involved in extracurricular activities, and obtain high scores at exams.
    • Attend prestigious universities; either one of the Ivy League ones (warning: you must pay up to $50,000 a year, so make sure you save enough money for that), or a renowned European one (Sorbonne in Paris, or Oxford and Cambridge in the UK).
    • Choose the right career paths. Choose either one of these: art, literature, fashion, or finance. The career path you choose must be somehow related to fine living. Even if all well-paid fields are just fine, you're more likely to meet socialites in these ones.
    • Learn a few foreign languages. French is a must; German, Spanish and Italian would also help. But the more languages you know, the better.

  3. Get an extremely well-paid job. In theory, it is quite easy: establish a business and make it grow. Again, pick one of the fields above; if you do, you’ll certainly find quite a lot of well-paid, fun jobs. Strive to be the best in your field; try to meet some famous people working in your field and learn their secrets. Start small; you won't be extremely successful by the beginning of your career. Get a few different jobs in the field, gather experience, then start a brand of your own.
  4. Learn how to promote yourself. Make a website for yourself or your company, make some business cards, convince some related brands to power you, advertise yourself or your company in some newspapers or magazines and so on. Especially at the beginning of your career, it is very important to meet the right people. Establishing a good social network can get you many good deals. Go to events related to your field, meet some moguls in the given industry, and make them help you.
  5. Find someone very rich to marry. Yes, you can become a socialite by marrying the right person, without having to work for all that fortune yourself. You can then use your spouse's money to get a good start in business (you thought you could still get away without working? You will be disappointed to find out you can't, dear). Do you think Tinsley Mortimer was always one of the most prominent socialites in Manhattan? Wrong. She wasn't that known until she married Robert "Topper" Mortimer, a very rich banker, and became a designer for the handbag line Samantha Thavasa. So don't worry if you haven't been an excellent student; there's hope for you too.
  6. Do your homework. As a socialite, there are a few things you must (emphasize "must") know. For example, the most basic thing to start with is knowing the names and faces of the most prominent socialites of the moment. Go to Park Avenue Peerage and get familiar with the names under the "Profiles" section.

Acting as a socialite
  1. Choose a good name. Make sure it sounds extremely WASP-y, uncommon and maybe foreign. Don’t go for already “taken” last names such as Vanderbilt, because people know the Vanderbilts and will eventually figure you out.
    • The caveat to the above is that you must look the part. If you have olive skin, kinky hair and brown eyes, no one is going to buy you as Muffie Sutton. In this case, you are better off settling for something that suggests old Spanish heritage ("Isabella Segovia").

  2. Become interested in expensive stuff. Know all the big names in everything: fashion, art, crafts, cuisine, sports etc. In the socialites’ world, when someone mentions a name, everybody is expected to know it. Also be able to pronounce all those foreign names properly. You may want to start reading some specialty magazines.
    • If you're clueless about anything luxurious, go on Fashion Net and start doing your research. The website contains some excellent links to the sites of the brands that matter. Try acquiring some stuff from any of those brands.

  3. Break the nouveau riche stereotype. "Nouveau riche" is an often derogatory term used to describe the upper class people who don't come from a wealthy family and achieved their fortune through work, not heritage. You may get looked down upon just for the fact that previous generations in your family were not wealthy. It's a sad fact of life; however, it can be diminished by not acting like the stereotypical new money fellow. Noveau riche tend to be more extravagant in appearances, but is understandable, because they automatically link opulence with happiness; but in time, the second, third, and so on generations who grew up with wealth tend not to find it that much important.
    • Don't be too enthusiastic about your possessions; for true upperclassmen, wealth is something they got used with, therefore they don't make too many thoughts about it. Be modest and don't brag about your belongings. Better yet, don't mention prices at all.
    • Spend your money wisely. Don't rush into buying opulent stuff, just because you can afford it; have a little class. Don't show off your economic status by being as extravagant as possible; you will only end up looking ridiculous ad proving that you have no experience whatsoever in being rich. To summarize, don't be a total snob.

  4. Be sophisticated. Refinement is the quality that separates ditzy celebrities from the true elite; lack of sophistication is a crime in the socialite world.
    • Have excellent manners. Used to slouch, put your elbows on the table while eating, yawn without covering your mouth? Such signs of lack of good breeding are unacceptable among the socialites. Your manners must be perfect. Buy the most detailed book on having good manners you can find, then learn it by heart.
    • Be cultured. Read a lot, visit museums and art galleries, go to the theatre, meet artists and poets. Also keep in mind that it is unacceptable for a socialite not to know anything related to common knowledge; remember that if a 7th grader knows it, you're supposed to know it too. Re-familiarize yourself with basic history, science, geography and art.
      • Speak properly. No slang whatsoever; cursing is also unacceptable. Use The Queen's English. Occasionally drop in some French words (like calling somebody “cheri” instead of “darling”). Use formal rather than informal language, both in speaking and in writing.

    • Be confident. As glamorous as it may seem, the socialites' world is very gossipy and mean; and you'll need loads of confidence to make it through it all. If you don't consider yourself worthy enough to be among them, they won't either. Not to mention you often need witty comebacks when someone says something mean to you; and a person without confidence can't quickly say something witty back to them.
    • Be classy and discrete. Avoid doing things that draw negative attention to you, such as being very loud, getting drunk at parties, flirting with everyone that crosses your path, or cursing.
    • Be fashionable. It is crucial that you have a sense of style and wear stylish, tailored clothes- and brand names make a huge difference. Everything you wear in public should be designer. Adopt a classy, timeless style; something that now looks just as good as it looked in the '50s, and just as good as it will look over 50 years. For ladies, get inspired by Jackie O., Charlotte from Sex and the City and Audrey Hepburn. For gentlemen, a tailored suit will always do it. Also, you should have a signature look that distinguishes you from other people- a fetish for a certain color, a nice haircut, whatever.

  5. Travel a lot. There are some travel destinations you may not miss as a socialite- New York (obviously), Paris, London, Milan, Rome. Take the time to visit all the important places there.
    • This goes for holiday destinations as well. Summer in the Hamptons (many famous people have summer houses in there) and winter in Aspen- these are the regular vacation spots for rich people. Other exotic, expensive destinations go as well- Hawaii, the Caribbean, Dubai, Greece.
    • Avoid acting like the stereotypical tourist; many people, especially the locals, find it annoying. Don't combine a colorful T-shirt and some shorts with white sports shoes, a big backpack, a baseball cap, sunglasses and a huge camera hanging at your neck (the typical tourist outfit). Don't buy tons of cheap, tacky souvenirs. Don't travel in large groups- your family or significant other is enough.

  6. Be generous. The number one thing that you must do if you want to be a socialite is this- give. Yes, and you should have a few charities under your belt. The great thing about this part is that it can be whatever you want, whatever amount you want, be it $30 or $20,000. You don't have to tell people about how much you gave; just tell them about the cause. And as you go up the ranks you will be able to give more. Oh, and there are perks like meeting celebrities, the affluent, intellectuals, politicians, artists and free things like gifts, free access to facilities, and rooms not open to the public. For a good example, check out the Metropolitan Art Museum in New York.
  7. Socialize. After all, that's what being a socialite is all about.
    • Make friends wherever you go. Whether you're at the local supermarket or at a posh event, you meet a lot of new people every day. Be friendly, appear interested in the person you're talking to, exchange phone numbers. But don't worry too much about establishing a genuine, lasting friendship with all those people. Keep your circle of close friends small, but establish superficial relationships with as many people as you can- you never know when you might need them. Remember, it's all about building a well-rounded social network; many of the "friendships" you'll establish will be for the sole purpose of gaining some advantages.
      • Better yet, befriend the right people. A little chit-chat with the local it-girl can go a long way. Having a few socialite friends will come in very handy; after all, the simplest definition of being a socialite is hanging out with other socialites.

    • Learn about event planning, and cultivate your taste in things like flowers, appetizers, music, etc. As a socialite, you'll be expected to throw some big, stylish events and parties. When you finally get your big break and your committee asks you to help plan some gala, this will come in handy. Reading Vogue (particularly the articles chronicling events thrown by real socialites) should help you develop this intuition. Of course, there will be a lot of people to help you plan an event, like your PR assistant, secretary and so on, but you must know how to organize them all. Get some phone numbers of service providers like caterers, decorators, DJs etc.; they're extremely useful.
    • Have the magical C word- charisma. Don't be a bore. It's pretty easy- just act like you're having a great time. Smile a lot, have interesting conversations with other people at parties, be lively and energetic. As you spend more time around socialites, you will learn a few tricks about charming your audience.
    • Be photographed next to VIPs. Photos of important people always appear in newspapers and magazines the day after an event- and you may have the chance to hit Page Six if there's someone famous next to you. But don't make it too obvious- like rushing by the closest socialite as soon as photographers enter your line of sight- that's just pathetic.
    • Seek real friendship with some people. You will still need someone to be there for you when you fail- someone who would not alienate you from the very moment you show them your less perfect sides.

Surviving in the world of the rich and famous & what not to do
  1. Don’t be a total social climber. These specimens are immediately detected and removed from the social scene; their desperation to become a socialite can be sensed in an instant. Being tagged as a social climber is the worst thing that can happen to an aspiring socialite.
    • Don’t go out of your way just for meeting someone. Even if you happen to run across a VIP, don’t freak out; just be natural and treat them like you would treat any other person. If there’s someone you know from magazines or socialite blogs, but you haven’t been introduced to them, don’t say ‘hi’ to them. Doing all sorts of crazy stuff only to meet someone, like stressing out their personal assistant to make them give you their phone number, is also a big no-no.
    • Don’t be desperate about getting into somebody’s good graces. Putting yourself in a position of inferiority to someone would do nothing but make that someone treat you like you were inferior. Have some dignity.
    • Don’t auto-invite yourself to parties; this is extremely rude. Not to mention it’s very likely that the bodyguards will never let you in without an invitation, but as soon as the host notices you, you’ll be out of there in an instant; and you can say goodbye forever to other parties and events.

  2. Avoid controversy and scandals as much as possible. Do your best to keep your public image clean. No sex tapes, no drugs, no controversial divorces, no public breakdowns and scenes. Be respectable and mind your morals. Stay cool and collected even when you’re raging mad. If someone did something bad to you, find a civilized way to deal with the situation.
  3. Learn to deal with malicious gossip. Some people are very mean and catty, but don’t let yourself be affected by what they say. Remember that scandal Olivia Palermo was dragged into, which led to the closing of Socialite Rank? Her reputation was ruined soon after that, but she managed to end the charade by revealing the identity of those behind the bitchy, malicious socialite blog and defend her public image.
    • Sometimes it's better not to reveal some things from your past (only if you're 100% sure they're not going to be discovered anyway). Don't give gossipers more material, so they can say more mean things about you. Of course, we're talking here about innocent little things that may get misinterpreted. If, for example, you had a nose job when you were still young and unknown, don't talk about it, if you don't want people to go like, "She's totally fake; just another manufactured beauty".
    • The best way to bring gossipers to silence is to laugh it off and admit that you’re not perfect (even if society expects you to). By acting like that, you’ll gain many admirers and you’ll still be able to walk with your head held high, no matter what is said about you.

  4. Don't lose yourself. In a world as superficial and materialistic as that of socialites, it's very easy to forget who you really are and where you come from. Whenever you feel like it, take a break and unwind, to avoid turning into a very shallow person. Always keep in mind your personal values.

Useful links

Related wikiHows

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Friday, August 28, 2009

FeFe Dobson Update: Jockin' My Fresh

Honey magazine interviewed FeFe Dobson and I just had to put my two cents in...

I was not an original fan of FeFe Dobson. I really, really wasn't. However, listening to her as of late, her style, her tattoos even...she was the originated, and duplicated by Rihanna. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for Rihanna, but lately these days I don't BELIEVE Rihanna.

Rihanna doesn't talk during interviews, she doesn't act like this rocker-chic diva that she poses to be. She was a super "dance hall queen" to quote FeFe, and now she's the total opposite. I'm one to say, absolutely not people most certainly can evolve and come in touch with a new side of themselves bringing forth a new style. I myself, feel that my style has evolved A LOT from what it used to be and now it's a lot different with hints of my past. However, FeFe IS the actual rocker-chic person. That is who she actually is.

Rihanna...doesn't even have an album out.

She's going to restaurants every 20 minutes in haute couture outfits to be stalked and photographed and as much as I LIVE & BREATHE to see her outfits cause I worship her style..that's all she style. In which, her and Ciara share the same stylist, is that really her style?

I feel like FeFe Dobson was always this way from jump, and the sad part is that when she debuted NO ONE I mean absolutely NO ONE was interested in hearing a Black girl do rock music. We were all bumping Britney, and Rihanna didn't even exist as dance hall queen at the time. When FeFe first came out on the scene I was in my senior year of high school and she's always been the same girl.
I live for Rihanna's style, but I don't believe her personality is what she tries to make it seem it is. You can't fake being a rocker. You either are, or you aren't.

Rihanna even has the SAME tattoos as me, she's really "jockin' her fresh". Rihanna is the haute couture version of FeFe Dobson, and unfortunately, FeFe has been swagger jacked by Rihanna in every way possible. From tattoos to Grammy awards and it's sad.
Read the Honey Magazine article here and decide for yourself...

House of Jazmin

This child Jazmin, to me, is just very inspiring...
Every time I watch her show I just think about how YOUNG she is and she already has six lines under her belt and has done L.A. fashion week.
She had an appointment with Fred Segal...hello?

The fact that she's conquering all of this at the age of 19-20 means that there is no reason why I can't accomplish what I'm trying to accomplish as a socialite. No reason.

New Jack Update: So·cial·ite

  • Main Entry: so·cial·ite
  • Pronunciation: \ˈsō-shə-ˌlīt\
  • Function: noun
  • Date: 1928

: a socially prominent person

I think the definition is really what speaks for itself.

In coming to the turning point, I've truly had my mind racing about all the things that I want to do, and that not only want, but I'm TRYING to do. The sad part is, I never felt that I could label it specifically. I don't want to be confined. I obviously have my starter, and primary niche, which is this: writing. However, aside from writing, I've been getting my model game up hard. I've been offered a lot of paid gigs and I know exactly how as a model I see myself. I refuse to box myself in to just urban-video-vixen-like modeling and what I love, is that I've been getting offers outside of that niche. For example, Amber Rose is and did start as very much a video-vixen, but she is the ONLY, I repeat ONLY video vixen that is signed to Ford models.

...Sorry, Melyssa Ford and Buffie the Body.

And what I'm loving is that I've been hustling and I'm going to be on my Amber Rose game, because other people are not just boxing me in anymore.

Aside from my writing and model game, I always do an excellent job of party planning. I've been trying to work my way in to a couple party promotion gigs. That's something you truly have to work from the bottom up for so I've been trying to wedge my way in. That's coming along very slowly, but I'm confident that surely it will come along. Especially with my Bachelor's in Music Industry, I know what my peers like, musically, socially, and visually. I feel as if I have a true connection with how to put together a party. From a theme, to music, to lighting, to decorations, to liquor served, to gift bags, you name it. It's like, why not do what you're good at? This is something I KNOW I'm good at.

As much as I think babies are not the new black, I still want to take care of a couple. Oddly, with my age..they're starting to create a soft spot in me. I'm still not too ready for them and their opinions past the age of 1 1/2 years old but, I want to help. Awhile ago I was looking into a volunteer program that you make gift baskets for the birthdays of terminally ill children. I really wanted to participate in that, but they didn't select me as a volunteer. I'm not going to let that deter me though. I'm looking to volunteer with something similar as what I've described above, and aiding little girls with self-esteem issues. When the winter comes around, I want to go at least two Saturday's a month to aid The Significant with Harlem Little League.
I mean, The Significant dedicates such a huge portion of the year to Harlem Little League, he loves each and every single one of those children. He goes in the dead of winter, for their indoor practice clinic and he goes in the heat of summer for every game-Monday-Saturday. He doesn't question, he doesn't second guess, he makes his plans AROUND the children. Every time I go with him he inspires me so much, just the way he is with kids and his dedication to them. It's about time I did the same and take care of someone who might just need me.

In all of this, I've just tried repeatedly to find a title. A single title. When someone asks you, "What do you want to do with your life?" or "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And no one wants to hear the episode reel: party planner, life journalist, prominent blogger, model, fashion look-book director, so on & so on. People want things now, concise, to the point...

So why not call it what it is, a Socialite.

Of course, a couple of bottles in V.I.P. never hurt quote Jim Jones, "Champagne to us, is nothing but mouthwash".

Friday, August 14, 2009

Richgirl Update: He Aint With Me Now (Tho)

Richgirl is the girl group product of my dear favorite, Amerie. Amerie, who has left Richcraft-the person who put her on the map, executive producer of her first two albums and produced her signature sound, actually has her album upcoming-"In Love & War" still afloat regardless of leaving Richcraft behind.

Richcraft's comeback scheme is Richgirl. I've been knowledgeable of Richgirl for way too long now, but just haven't felt connected to them as how I felt an instantaneous connection with Amerie.
This song annoyed me heavily at first, but like lightening it's struck me and has left my body in after shock.

The Turning Point

There's a reason.

There's a reason for it all no matter how lost and confused I am half the days of my life, but there is a reason. For the first time in 23 years, I'm realizing it's okay to not know what that reason is right away because God knows what that reason is. My BFF, Linette has always pointed out my high levels of negativity and for so long I never saw eye-to-eye with what she was saying until now. I have such a loud, new, fresh out look on life because I think I finally realize now that there's a reason.

I may not know the reason right away, but I'm now truly content with knowing that there's a reason altogether.

There's a reason why I was the one who came up with, "The New Jack"; There's a reason why I was the one to come up with "Shoes From Last Night"; There's a reason why The Significant always got caughtcheating; A rason why I was downgraded to the car I now have; A reason why I lost this past job I had; A reason why I've been in Jamaica, the place of my birth for four days for fucking free at that.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, that has happened in my past, negatively matters...

It's all been a set up for some things I couldn't forsee, but always the right thing for me. For example, I've been so miserable of the car downgrade that I endured only 10 days after my birthday, the accident that cause all that car for two whole months and financial woes I'm still playing catch up on. You couldn't tell me I wasn't being punished. A month after geting this lesser valued car, I lost my job. Howwould I have supported the higher valued car had I been unemployed? Now, not saying that upkeeping this one with no job will be cake, but imagine if I would've got in June, a 2009 car. How would I have paid the lease plus insurance payment? In getting a 1997 car, I only have an insurance payment to deal with, and from my last pay check from my job I've used it to pay my insurance through October. I couldn't see the reason but I see it now.God had a plan for me. i just didn't know about it. So instead, I just was a prick for 2 1/2 months to just get hit with, "duh".

With 'The New Jack', I've always been stressing looking for web help because I've been ready to take things to the next, next level. But maybe, it's just wasn't time yet. It seems that maybe I've just found the help I was looking for because the domain expires in 3 weeks. Just enough time for me to the the grand conversion. There's a reason I wrote this on paper, on a balcony at a 5-star resort...I feel like, it's the turning point. I finally realize that the ability to write is something wat put here, but Him, I didn't buy it somewhere. There's a reason why we moved to New York from Jamaica, my family. There's a reason why I know who I know. And even if I don't get the full reason all the time, does it really truly matter if He knows the reason?

No, it doesnt. I believe in my sould now that it doesn't matter.

Tightrope walkers never look down, for where your head goes, your body goes. They look at where they're trying to get to, for it doesn't matter if you're sure of if you're going to get across but He knows if and how to get you across. So why have I spent so much time focusing on the how, when someone else already knows, "the way" to? I've been so deeply rooted in negativity, since 2007. Another turning point, leaving a total comfort zone & falling straight into the fire pit head first. I've had my ups but I've been forever focused on the downs and it's true, Linette has tried to show me and she's been right....
Linette has always been relaxed in "the way to", never the "how to". I joke on her for what I've always considered to be her lack of reality, bt she consistently relaxes in "the way to". It's never "how are we getting to Manhattan" or "how are we paying for this meal" or "Are we sure we're getting a ride to this location". It's always "Dee, we know the way to Manhattan, so just start looking up train times". I've been doing so much thinking...I really wishI could get it all out.

All I know is...
I'm ready to change. I'm ready to live. I'm ready to love. I'm ready to immerse myself in the good. I'm ready to believe and I'm ready to trust. I might be scared of it, because indeed, trust is the biggest fear of all for me, but I'm ready to try it again. Some times, it may hurt, more than I think I can bare. But truth be told, even when it hurts, would I still be here standing if it wasn't something I could survive? Wouldn't I have crumbled already?

But I am standing...and that's not a dream.
No matter how much it hurts, I'm still standing. Because He is holding me by that tightrope harness.

So if I know that for a fact, then why look down?

Lady Gaga Update: Pokerface on BBC

This is the performance of Lady Gaga on BBC...and this woman can actually, sing.. It's hard to take her seriously because of her, ahem, style, but she can actually, sing.
Watch it from beginning to end.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Mullage Update: Trick'n

It's hood, but I'm loving this right now...even with the little T-Pain sample...

Monday, August 3, 2009

New Jack Update: SFLN

Shoes From Last Night.

"Like TFLN, but shoes are way more important than texts"

I started a new blog over the course of this weekend. For a starting fact, I own a minimum of 70 pairs of shoes. I'm not sure where to put them anymore, and they're ALL over my room. The Significant complains incessantly of how he always has to walk and hop over them in my bedroom, inclusive of the millions of other things on the floor in my room. I've truly gotten bad. Now that I've been fired, and have...umm, more time on my hands, I'm actually going to do a wild mass cleanup in here....

The issue still remains that I don't know WHERE to put all the shoes. I actually have two closets, plus I've dedicated two sections of two different walls of just boxes and shoes in THOSE boxes stacked from floor to ceiling, then I have some strays in Ma Dukes' room and some strays in the living room which drives her nuts. Some kids get yelled at for washing dishes, I get yelled at to pick up my shoes.

As usual, I was parading around Manhattan, in..."celebration" of getting fired and a birthday. Any excuse to open a bottle of Patron is fine by me. I debuted a pair of cuties that are a staggering 5" tall, but oddly, oddly enough..really comfortable. It's so weird that it all struck me as a lightening bolt, but there is a real reason behind why I got fired..and it's not their reason why. Writing is truly what I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm very excited about SFLN; it's like having a second baby, not that babies were the new black to begin with. The New Jack will be 2 in October and now I have a new baby. But just as with all children, especially young ones in my time not working, I need to focus on caring for both. There's been plenty a time that things have been going on in life and I've neglected my first born. I don't want to make that mistake anymore. In my time not working, I want to work on both of these, attend the gym daily, cook for my family and try to find the job that I do want. It's lurking...and I needed to get fired essentially for it to come to me.

So while I'm waiting on that, I might as well talk about something I do like...