Saturday, January 31, 2009

Making The Band NEW season trailer

Danity Kane is so done...
And my heart is broken...

Season 4 begins 2/12...

Tyra Mail! How to Fall in Love with Your Job

" Even if you don't have your dream job.

fall_in_love_with_work.jpgWhile you might never skip your way to work, you can definitely learn to make it through the day without staring at the clock until it finally hits the blessed 5 PM mark. Even if you're only in a "pays the bills" position, make the best of it and learn to love your job for the time you spend there.

Focus on the "Can Do"
Maybe your current job doesn't call for a lot of creativity, but one day you're asked to construct an Evite for the office bowling outing -- and suddenly you've got a tiny window to showcase you're writing talents. Make it work for you! Take on all the chances you can get to pen the company headlines and memos. Finding ways to exercise your skills will not only make your days bearable, but it also might lead you on a path toward your permanent career.

Become BFF's

We all know that everything is better in groups. Perhaps your daily tasks are ho-hum, but your cube area is packed with characters worthy of Dundler-Mifflin. Making connections to people will at least let you dish gossip as you push pencils.

Keep on Top of It
While you're working for the man, there is no harm in perusing the job boards for your dream job. We're not saying that you should pine over what you aren't currently achieving -- just use your current position to hone in on the requirements these jobs call for and straighten up your skills. You might want to avoid doing this at your current job, though -- if they catch wind of this, they might think you're ready to move on right now."


Solange Update; Viva La Vida Cover

I know many who are on "Team Solange"'s a sort of, Anti-Beyonce Dipset..
I love them both. I really do enjoy Solange and how very different she is, ESPECIALLY her style and I think she killed this cover of Coldplay's "Viva La Vida"....

Ciara Update: Never Ever

Debuted yesterday on BET's "Access Granted" and today on Yahoo!
I'm a huge Ciara fan, I'm not sure why, but I absolutely adore this girl...

Ciara f/Young Jeezy
"Never Ever"

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Tyra Mail! How to Succeed at Work

" Take charge!

how_to_succeed_at_work.jpgEven if you are generally okay with your job, the only way to get higher and higher up on the career ladder is to get rid of negative vibes. Start by thinking positive and you'll be climbing the corporate ladder faster than you can say "have a good day." Here are our tricks for succeeding at work.

Bend the Rules
Sometimes you need to skip protocol to move forward with something that could be your stroke of genius. If you have a killer idea, start planning it and maybe skip the discussion session your boss usually likes to have with you. If this is your moment of brilliance, no one will even notice. If not, at least your boss will respect the go-getter in you.

Take it Easy
Instead of sitting at your desk, stewing relentlessly over a screw-up, face the problem head on. Take a second and think about what damage control you can do. Creating a plan will get you out of panic mode and on to clean up duty.

It's Not You
When you get slighted at work, you know in your right mind that it's work -- and people are focused and not always considering your feelings. But that doesn't always stop you from taking it personally. If you develop a thick skin about work, it will keep you focused on what you're there to do -- work.

Respect Yourself

That being said about developing a thick skin, it's also important to develop one in order to stand up for what you want. When you feel you work has clearly shown you deserve a raise, get in there and fight for one! Don't worry about coming across like the diva.

Hang Back

Just because once in a few months you'll have no problem offering some extra time to your job doesn't mean you should volunteer every week. You look plenty committed as long as you never leave with the day's work unfinished and if your boss is in a bind, step up sometimes. But if your job begins to take away too much from the rest of your life, you'll begin to resent it and slide downhill. "

{source, bitches}

Sunday, January 25, 2009

New Jack Update: Jailbird

Taken at Angels and Kings here in NY last night...

New Jack Update: A Little...Confused at the Moment

This literally JUST popped into my brain...

It's just weird how it popped into my brain being that my younger brother is really sick and I drove to the "corner store" (I live in Long Island, remember?) to buy Ginger Ale along with a mulititude of other sick children aid products...
Maybe, him still being a "child" in my eyes, because I'm aiding in taking care of him (he's 17) is what sparked the thoughts..

I don't want any children, fact.
I do though, or at least so I think, want to get married. Recent events from The Significant's "Britney" meltdown make me shake my head "no" almost immediately...

I'm dating someone older, who still doesn't have their life together as yet..not in the least. Not educationally, mentally, and especially financially. The possible thought of marrying into such a situation, especially seeing that the financial has not advanced would be ludicrous. I am however, noticing the trend....

Everyone that gravitates to me, almost gravitates to me maybe because of what I have, and my level of financial independence so they love that they'll never have to "pay my way". I've been involved with a lot of "bums" to put it nicely. Dudes who never have money, dudes with no education...dudes still living with Ma Dukes when they most certainly shouldn't be. To top that off things like shared bank accounts, etc. that I see my parents (married 24 years) have and little things of that nature that with trust of course have only aided in the success of their marriage I see no men of the "new millenium" engaging in any sorts of activity. It's always "Nah, I'm good...shorty can have her account and I'll have mine", "I don't need no golddiggin bitch in my money son..fall back.." etc.

I know what I'm willing and not willing to tolerate..especially with a relationship/marriage situation.

But the question is, with all the "bums" that seem to always fall into my lap...that I KNOW I wouldn't marry for practical reasons but if marrying for love solely, I would in a heartbeat, am I wasting my time dating?
If no one is on my I wasting The Significant's time as well as the time of a couple other "boys"?
I'm severely lacking the confidence that I'm going to ever meet anyone that's going to be..on my level in agreement with marriage and all those things..
I love The Significant, but he's so not where he needs to be with his life..and at the moment, I'm not sure when the projected time is that he will be where he should be.

Should I just be single..and stay that way?

Tyra Mail! Cubicle Love

"Style a desk that lets your coworkers know what a design diva you really are!

decorate_your_cubicle.jpgTo do your best work, you need to create an environment that encourages creativity and flow, so change things up a little! We're not talking about repainting or coming in with a ficus or other foliage -- just a few odds and ends to spruce up your surroundings. Here are a few tips from our design notebook to turn your work space into your own personal "creativity zone."

Running Theme
Pick one color and stick with it. Silver pen holder? Get a silver stapler, tape holder and so on. Sticking with one color theme will make you look neat and organized -- and will show you have a flair for style.

Now, just because you're going with this color theme doesn't mean you now need every accessory under the sun. There is no need for a fancy desk pad or other other doodads -- just buy what you'll use.

The Extras
To show a bit of personality, you should keep some knick-knackery on your desk. If you need a pad at the ready to jot down notes, why not go for an artsy notebook instead?

Cut the Lights
Fluorescent lighting can be brutal. Why not opt for a softer desk lamp and ditch those blinding lights -- it's easy, trust us. When no one is looking, just stand up on your desk or chair for a boost and unscrew the bulbs. Mood lighting, here you come!"

{source, bitches}

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Tyra Mail! Interview Me

I'm posting these for my own reference...
Yet, simultaneously, in this time of recession every one needs this information...

I'm trying my very best to stop complaining about my job scenario, and truly DO something about it. I was looking for tickets to the Tyra Show for my 23rd birthday (4/14/09) ,and came across this slew of work related advice that I certainly am in need of. I somewhat have the plan layed out...
I just need to actually buckle down and fully execute it..because, I'm truly fed up and unhappy and that's not what your life is supposed to be about when that's the place you spend the most time at during a week.
I've found a slew of articles from them, that I'm going to post 2 of per week.
Starting with interview tips....

"Do's and don't to leave a lasting impression.

You got the interview! The hard part is over, now all that's left to do is land that job. We think you're fabulous and fun, but even the best of us cramp up before an interview. Just take a deep breath and follow a few of our do's and don'ts and you'll be headed straight to the office come Monday.

Do: your research. Sometimes it might be the company you're really interested in and sometimes it's just the position -- either way, study up on what you'd be doing and where. The fastest way to look foolish in an interview is to be clueless about the position.
Don't: over-rehearse your answers. It's good to be knowledgeable about the place you're interviewing, but you don't need to rattle off the company mission statement to appear qualified. It'll just look like you've memorized the website, not that you can actually do the job.

Do: greet your interviewer by his or her title and last name (Mrs. Smith.) This is important because then it shows you've listened to all the facts about your interview. If you don't know how to pronounce the person's last name, ask the receptionist.
Don't: attempt to pronounce the person's name without checking if you're unsure. It looks much better if you cared to check rather than if you just went ahead and said whatever you thought. Also, no matter how informal the environment seems, don't call the person by their first name until instructed. If it is that casual, we're sure he or she will say, "oh just call me Jane."

Do: be positive and upbeat. It's okay to be borderline bubbly as long as you know what you're talking about. There is a curve when it comes to interviews, you're human and there's going to be a bit of nerves when it comes to these things. As long as you stay cheerful and intelligent it'll get you places.
Don't: be too aggressive. It's good to show enthusiasm, but being too intense is off-putting. Also, avoid talking negatively about your most recent employer. Of course, if asked, you can explain what is unsatisfying about that job, but don't go in to detail about your last boss who was "such a jerk." Touching controversial areas can potentially make you look like a hard to handle employee."

{source, bitches}

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

New Jack Update: Shape Values

I did 2 miles on the treadmill today...

To some people that's a joke..
To others like myself, that's a BIG ass deal. I do NOT exercise. I don't care Dr. Oz and Oprah say...
It's such a wretched experience that I can never really bring myself to do it...

I really want to tone up some things that were toned before the year 2007 happened..maybe start getting involved in some shoots again, as offers have still swung my way recently..

I'm going to try to do it all again tomorrow :)

Though I don't necessarily want J-Lo's entire "body"...this is when it was really on point..

I was admiring her...pre-Marc Anthony, and she definitely has the stomach I are some favorites of mine:

New Jack Update: $530,000

"Great minds have purposes, others have wishes"-Washington Irving

I'm trying to come to connects with what my purpose actually is..

These days I'm so exhausted from the marketing world as well as my health not being so stablized that I think my purpose is to just smoke and blog all day.

Only in my wildest dreams..well, not wildest. I'm learning a lot in marketing..quickly but a lot it's to retain and I'm actually DOING the job of marketing and it's intense..I mean, I don't know how many people are thrilled about being responsible for $530,000(the cost of an important marketing plan) x 30 plans. If the money was mine ("If I was a rich girl...")that would be totally different, but its NOT. I don't want to hold someone elses $530,000 x 30. Right now, however my online shopping habits are certainly preventing me from making my own "$530,000". The NewJack is still being hacked indefinitely and even though I've done extensive investigation for the help to correct the hacking, I'm too busy looking at Betsey Johnson and Report Sandals to pay for the help.

Yeah, smart.

I've got to get the cash flow together, for New Jack's sake...

Quote Of The MOTHAFUCKIN Week-1/19/09

"Great minds have purposes, others have wishes"-Washington Irving

Swagger Jacked? Get Your Swagger Back!

Cause the headline didn't sound commercial enough...

Because of the occupational disasters as well as the disappearance of The Significant I've just felt overall very defeated. My uncle is in Jamaica where his lung cancer has taken a turn for the worse and one lung has entirely collapsed meanwhile the other fills with fluid...
He is the youngest of my mother's 11 brothers and sisters.
I'll get more in depth about me and my slight swag loss later....
This article however, I'm loving it!

I needed to read something swag oriented...some outside forces are trying to fade it...
Find SwAgger

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

New Jack Update: Betsey Johnson Taylor Sandal

"Hello Lover"-Carrie Bradshaw

I'm really going to return the Report Signature Masonic Sandal for these little poohkies...
I'm not sure if diamonds are as much the BFF for girls as shoes are these days...
What isn't my BFF is my bank account...

Jason Mraz Update: SNL

As per Facebook, Jason Mraz is going to be hosting Saturday Night Live on NBC with Steve Martin on 1/31/09.
How amazing is that?

Young Jeezy Update: My President Is Black

Couldn't have fallen on a better day than the Inauguration Day...
My President is Black, Ford Taurus is red..and I do have a thing for RED cars and something directly AGAINST blue cars..I don't know what it is, I can't explain it..

I want to comment that I didn't SEE the damn thing because I was doing marketing opposed to seeing the 44th president be sworn in..
..yeah, I'm not bitter...

Inauguration Day-1/20/2009

Today, 1/20/2009 Barack Obama will officially become the 44th president of the United States...

After my place of employment...
  • Ipod touch 16GB 2 generation
  • The return of The Significant
  • Inauguration Day thoughts
{source bitches}

Sunday, January 18, 2009

New Jack Update: Office Space

I have to say...I'm not thrilled, but then again, what else is new?

In Long Island, it's approximately 11:11AM and there's approximately 3 inches of snow on the ground already.
Mind you, I was unaware that any such snowfall would come about today..and it's not stopping.
This past week at my "place of employment" has been rough to say the very, very, very least. Let me whisper that information, as apparently employees are not allowed to express themselves outside of work I'm actually though more focused on how rough it was for those surrounding me not so much myself...layoffs.
There's been a significant amount of turmoil in house and the report is its only going to continue...I'm already getting slightly re-flustered with the work load which as of tomorrow it's going to skyrocket. Seriously.
I'm going from handling only ONE marketing plan, to roughly 30-35. In all seriousness. On top of juggling that, I still have regular maintance and clerical duties to keep the smaller stuff for the "team" functioning. I'm truly not sure as to when all the hours in the day are suddenly going to arise for this..and I can tell anyone I'm truly, truly not looking forward to any of the above.

This entire week has been somber and miserable. So many surrounding me have incurred deaths in the family as if the current wipeout situation wasn't bad enough. All in all it makes it hard to concentrate on the staggering work load itself.

Very hard.

I often find myself with horrible headaches, "brain farts" (a very prominent symptom of my Hashimotos), and very easily confused to say the very least. I'm not sure exactly, and I'm not very confident as to how I'm going to function this coming week and the arduous weeks to follow....

I'm not sure if anyone besides me realizes how small a cubicle truly feels when its stacked with towers of paperwork...

News regarding the return of The Significant later...

Friday, January 16, 2009

New Jack Update: Twitter

I've finally...given in...

Seeing as I love to update my Facebook status, the website that's made a crack habit of that alone has finally roped me in..

I was invited via a member of Channel718 and so I finally have given in.
Stay on top...

OH! And for my most important Twitter update whole day...I am selling a 16GB, Black Ipod Nano of the 4th generation :)
E-mail: if you're interested...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Jason Mraz Update: Lucky

"Lucky" featuring Colbie Callait..
Jason Mraz in a suit...I'm sold...
"Lucky" Official Video With Colbie Caillat

Christina Milian Update: Us Against the World


Duffy Update: Stepping Stone

If this song...isn't about how my heart is feeling and breaking at this minute..
I don't know what the hell is...
New music from, Duffy..
Duffy - Stepping Stone

Dropping The Ring


It took definitely more than a couple days for me to grab control of all my thoughts. My world is semi spinning...
And it's NOT seeming to STOP..which is what I would like...immediately.

I don't know about everyone else, but I'm in love with roller-coasters, but not if I just had a Big Mac..
...I want to get off the friggin' ride...
Or rather, I shouldn't have boarded it in the first place, right?

1. The Significant did indeed, I guess really...dump me. I'm just not ready to label him as I guess what would be "The Ex-Significant" seeing as I didn't want the breakup. The Significant had a "Britney" we'll call it.
New Jack Diction: "Britney" (Britt-neee:noun)1. Life crisis resulting in victim's meltdown 2. Using a golf club to destroy a mini-van, circa pop-songstress Britney Spears circa 2007 3. Major life questioning meanwhile displaying wild, abnormal behaviors including mass violence-verbal and non-verbal.

He's indeed struggling with what I believe is the prospect of going back to school at an older age, not being in the profession he would choose to be, now, jobless, family pressures and open expression of disappointment etc. This resulted in on Thursday, a massive "Britney". This meltdown to say the least scared me shitless. It's something that cannot even be described, it needed to be taped...
Screaming, cursing, jumping into cars and driving, wild levels of anger never witnessed, wild levels of verbal abuse etc. His solution to him not knowing needs to be in his life, is to remove everything from his life..starting with his girlfriend of nearly 3 years.

Yes, that individual would most certainly be me.
He's saying he'll be very much in touch with me, and that we can still hang out. He's almost making the terminology of the situation sound reminicent of a "break" but we're single. That, is not the definition of a "break", therefore we're not together. Between...crying and being blank, I'm not sure what the fuck I am in general.
Excuse my french...
I couldn't quote Lil Wayne at any better time and say..."I feel like dying". I made that very, very known as I drank myself into a wild black hole filled with 151 in which the hangover just made me wish that someone would shoot me point blank range in the forehead.
Right now, everyone is telling me very Kanye-esque that I'm "worrying about the wrong things"..or "baby, don't worry about it". I seem to be hearing from all angles that I'm "Paranoid". That he's going to realize its a rash decision..and he'll return. I'm not sure how long this is going to go on..but as per my 2009 resolutions list this MUST be some wild test of patience because I'm beginning to crumble SO ridiculously hard.

My patience must be being tested all around...
I did NOT get the memo that was "Test The New Jack's Patience Level Month"..."win a prize for getting her to boil over! sign up now!" I didn't get that memo...
I'm seeing some new developments with people's..."things" we'll call them. "Things" meaning careers, side-hustles, etc. and I'm trying...
...I am TRYING.....
To wait my turn...
Trying to not explode at the levels of input and seeing not the ouput I want. I shouldn't be one to judge the input of other people into their "things" but it seems to the eye, not as thorough as mine has been and they're seeing the output that I'm getting sickeningly impatient about receiving.

If my goal is truly by August '09 to get my patience together..this is going to be such a wretched 2009 for me...
...Just as the gut feeling I had that it would be...
Can someone kill me now, please? I'm over 2009....

Friday, January 9, 2009

Dropping The Ring

...I am no longer interested in getting married to The Significant.
The fight of my LIFE took place last night, much to my surprise..and I'm 100% unprepared to date the ghost I wrote awful things about in here often circa late 2007-early 2008...

This entire scenario makes me extremely apprehensive that there is a such thing as actually "happily married"..

...More after the place of my employment...

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

New Jack Update: Report Signature Masonic Sandal

Can...I...just have ONE moment of happiness?
...Just ONE....

I've been watching these shoes since at least, July 2008 when both Marleux and Nicole Bitchie first starting posting photos of Meagan Good in these sandals. At that time, I was trying to be a good egg and pay bills, etc.

As per Nicole Bitchie with the help of Marleux, the sandals were on SALE on

And I just purchased them and I'm going to be the friggin proud owner as of Friday of this week.
You know who would appreciate these....Pristina Christina....Yep.

Summer '09 CANNOT come fast enough baby!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

New Years Resolutions and Fossil Imprints-The Sequel

The New Year has started out...good yet bad. Up but down. Normal but weird.

I am not in the least comfortable with a moments worth of I just resolved to myself that the reason in which it might be beginning this way is because prior to the New Year beginning I didn't write out the official 2009 list as I kept telling myself I'm SUPPOSED to. This is why everything is so topsy-turvy..I didn't specify how the year should play out, so its playing out on a shuffle setting.

New Years eve began with me about to quit my job, and hearing the news that someone whos presence I NEEDED on New Years wasn't going to be present. Soon afterward, I left work "early" and The Significant upon hearing me in near tears agreed to pick up my friend from her house in Yonkers and drive us into Manhattan. As the countdown began, I realized I wasn't overly excited as many others were to kiss 2008 goodbye, '08 was a really good year for me. The Significant was parking his car that we came in at midnight, so I had no one to kiss...
However, after an entertaining night in Angels and Kings full of laughter, drink spilling and random fights we headed up to Yonkers in which..drunk people tried to COOK and caught a whole roll of paper towels on FIRE.

Not a small flame either...

With all the laughter and surrounded by those I love, I figured I started the New Year completely right. The 2009 that I was previously dreading, I figured "Fuck the list, I started this right". On the heels of New Years, starting Friday 1/2/09 The Significant and I have been in battle, even up to yesterday me posing threats to end the relationship entirely. I got into a deep conversation, not fight in the least with my BFF regarding "friendship levels". The measure in which certain people now stand with me, which was good for me to evaluate because I have been reaching out or handing out to those who don't deserve shit from me. They always have an excuse for something, they always have some BS going on, it's always SOMETHING. And, I'm over it. So in referencing the original to this post, I'm going to properly devise the sequel.

When goals are written they have a 57% chance of actually coming true...

  • Work on my PATIENCE. This is on top of the list for a reason. Everyone, absolutely everyone is becoming intolerable of my lack of patience. When my grandmother passed away in 2004 the fossil imprint she should've left with me is high levels of patience. She was the most patient person I've ever known, and preached to me about it daily in which back then, I was WAY more patient..patient to a point that people took severe advantage of. It seems that upon her death, she took my patience to the grave with her. Coming upon the 5th anniversary of her death I should ressurect it in full by August 7th-the date of her death.
  • Keep the structure of my postive relationships. At this point in the game, I know who are "idle friends", "co-workers", "friends remaining to prove themselves" and "ride or die". I've been spreading myself out TOO much. I do know exactly who to talk to and who I 200% trust, so why am I not limiting myself to those people? I need to not necessarily cut-off the excess but REDUCE the exposure to the excess...
  • Be more professional. As much as I despise where I am currently, I've gotten too comfortable, and gotten too close with so many people that I shouldn't be. I need to draw the line 150%-work is work, play is play. Keep cordial with those at work that need to be kept cordial with and don't delve into too much personal for that is a weapon that will be used against me..and already has. And to top that off, this is a stepping stone so people need to have the most postive image of me as so possible because their sole purpose in my mind needs to now be reduced to simply using them as references. Their opinions of me work-wise are half the fare on my ticket to where I NEED to be, so why am I ruining the opportunity to get half the money paid?
  • "Resolve my trust issues". This was an excerpt from the 2008 list, in which it said especially with men. In my opinion I've done A LOT BETTER with men, but that's because during 2008 the entire thing REVERSED and women became my enemy. Women in the past year used so many tools against me and I was caught so off guard and genuinely VERY hurt in lots of circumstances. I would like to begin to read more relationship books. Not just male to female relationships, just general relationships. Mothers to children, men and women, women and women in the workplace, love, male to male friendships etc. I need to understand relationships on a WHOLE in order to progress the right way with trust as I so wish to.
  • Hashimoto Hypothyroidism: Yeah, that's me. This has come into knowledge mid to late 2008 that this is the thyroid disease I have. This means, in all seriousness, I CANNOT get stressed out, I have to eat better, take my medication and start a serious exercise regimen. Stress and poor eating exacerbate the seriousness of the disease. I already feel the effects hard core, like the fatigue when I sleep 10 hours easily. I despise exercise. Let me put that impoortant information out there, however, I feel like trash every single day. I have been feeling like trash for the last 4-6 months truly. The Hashimotos is making me either ridiculously hungry or not eat at all and I still gain weight. I can't keep my head up most nights past 10:30PM. My vision is usually blurred, I've developed severe stuttering and my memory is completely shot to all hell. Also, in addition my vision is getting worse because I've been sleeping in my contact lenses for weeks at a time. Gross, I know. I've probably consumed 412 gallons of soda in the whole year, and only 2 gallons of water. Looking at Oprah's Best Life program, going on this week, there is a lot I have to fix...

  • MAKE MONEY. In 2008 I put this on the list, and it was no joke-as soon as 2008 began I was working steady temporary jobs landing me right into the job I have currently. I started 2008 just being content with the money I had and by June, I was "making it rain on them hoes" with the revenue. When the revenue became officially stable, I dove into correcting my credit woes. Now, even though Bank of America was successful in passing a judgement against me, I still have been working on everything else in the background. I would truly like by the end of this year that almost all the woes are put to bed. The earlier in the year, the better, seeing as I would like to use my money during '09 to get an apartment in Nassau County. That is the first step towards getting a job in NYC, writing....
  • I need an apartment in Nassau County..not want...need...and will have..oh, with a walk-in closet..and The Significant in my bed a lot more often..
  • Further strengthening my relationship with The Significant from the inside, out. At one point during 2008, he said some positive things to me that changed the relationship for the better entirely. I hate that we started this year rocky, but it'll be one of the last rocky situations. With him going back to college finally as I've begged him to thoroughly, me still working and saving for my apartment I want this year to be a solid year of advances for both of us separately but together. I want things to continue to be positive, and for understandings to grow and to feel at the end of 2009 that this isn't the end but the beginning of something really big for our union. I want him to fully trust me, and for us to truly be on the same page for our future together..I love him.
  • Spend some more time with my PARENTS and younger brother..he graduates high school in June!
  • Devote money to the success of my writing/blogging career. "You get what you give" "What you put in, is what comes out". I've put in words, I haven't put in advertising, money, networking etc. THIS year, this takes off. If I were buying a few less shoes, and putting that into THIS then a lot MORE would be coming out!
  • Go hard for 2009...just go hard so during this year I can have what I want, how I want it, the way I deserve it...

Monday, January 5, 2009

New Jack Update: 2009 Hair-Curly Sue

If I have straight hair before February 15th, I want someone to stab me...

I needed something drastically the year 2007 when I went firecrotch red..

New hair+bathing suit I wore in the hottub at Mohegan Sun this weekend...

The First Mohegan Photos

Here are some of the photos I took this weekend..
More to come...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The First Mohegan

I just did my first weekend at Mohegan Sun...

Britney Spears will be doing two shows there this March, and apparently in May of 2009 as well..(random tidbit)

I needed this time..

I've never done any gambling before (it's ironic that upon my first try, bible verses against it come immediately to mind) and I won, then lost $27.

$27 could be gas in my car, or a round trip LIRR train ticket with enough cash left over for a shot of Southern Comfort. Losing $27 definitely stresses me out, as I do not have $27 to lose and was hoping my $27 was going to grow significantly...

Well, it would be nice to use "FREE" money (a.k.a. "winnings greater than your initial input) to pay my Verizon Wireless bill.

Apparently, hope isn't going to get far in 2009...
However, I severely needed a break. A real break. Not to sound.."whiny" but, I almost feel like the break I've been allotted isn't even enough. It's not as much as I need to heal right now...
That's what I'm working on right now. Healing. Last week, I got back into that moment where work was pushing me to that brink of insanity that I felt that if the building were to suddenly combust or if I were to be laid off, it would almost be OK. Almost. Well....

I originally had plans with The Significant, which some how derailed and I guess did for the right reasons. I haven't been trusting lately in that God is steering me in the right direction or that He is aligning things in an order for a specific reason. I think that mistrust of lately has added to my detour on a path to near insanity. I've become control freak-ish about everything that is going on and not relaxing into the belief that there is some grander reason as to why something is occuring. Then, when I try to control things, and they don't work out it only lends so much to the stress. I've been feeling like I've been doing so many things for no reason. Or, reasons unbeknownst to me. Because I'm not seeing the immediate benefits of SEVERAL things, I've become crazed...not having the stamina to complete the simplest of tasks if I'm not able to piece them together with a neccessary outcome.

No bueno...

I've had to re-direct this for 2009. I started 2009 the right way, and I have to come to accept as per many fortune tellings and tarots that this is a year for me of long-term potential. This year is extremely vital in that everything I do starting early this year is going to formulate at the END of this year and into the years to follow. I'm not going to do something in January and see the resultants on February 1st. Everything I've read has been pointing me to that. It's going to be an intense year for me in developing patience as the primary trait I lack in the worst way, and my whole year's dependency is on me having the patience to see what will come in the months to follow. This is going to be the year where a lot of my personal desires come to fruition. I absolutely know this almost factually. It's a vibe I have but I'm already struggling hard with keeping my irritations DOWN as my lack of patience is being tested hard core.

It's only 5 days in...
Here's to hoping and praying that I truly develop some real, hard core patience..
Because with the way I'm being tested already if I don't develop some, this is going to be a not pretty 2009 for me and a lot of surrounding people...