Monday, September 6, 2010


"the lovers need to clear the road, because this thing is ready to blow..."-RIHANNA

Ive had a breakthrough, not the most positive one..but one that's self sustaining and with the person I'm dating now, the ALL STAR is all about reinforcing self sustenance. For starters I've realized what a true breakthrough is one that regardless of how it may hurt in the process..that you come out of it 150% ok. In the last week, I've truly come to grips with how much I'm affected by others opinions and actions and after this past week for the first time I've finally pushed past it. The all star and I had a dinner, outside, candlelit, gorgeous and in such a romantic setting we had such amazing conversation. The weight I put on peoples opinions, how much I believe it defines me, how I curb my feelings or desires in accordance with the opinion or action of another and most importantly how much my opinion doesn't hold any weight in my world. The combination of the 3 hour talk, reading ENERGY ADDICT 101, and missing my best friends 25th birthday party and the backlash that came as a complimentary gift....I've come to breakthrough a set of chains that's been set to my wrists since childhood.

My opinion is the only opinion of circumstance...

Point blank period. In practice of it this entire week there's been a freedom associated with it that I wish I wouldve not just come, but truly felt these conclusions earlier in my life. I've been a bomb that's exploded numerous times taking on the weight and opinions of others and everytime it gets to be too much I have to explode to remind people I'm not the one to be pestered.
It's ok though, that's what I've realized above all. It's sad to no longer consider so many people my "friend" but there's always a quote regarding that those who are true friends don't just pass through your life like a revolving door..they stick around for a lifetime. When things get rough for you they don't disappear out of your life because they don't want to be "too invested". When they aren't aware of the full story behind something or they're curious about a rumor they heard, they don't just sit there and absorb one side of the story; they come to you, their source to ask WHY something may be so.
It's been saddening, but eye opening and I can only thank GOD as much as it may hurt for bringing me to the light of reality probably before I got really hurt by these same people. People I invited into my home, etc. And what's nice is, I'm already moving forward. That's been apart of my "opinion epiphany". That something or some people aren't who you thought they were so accept it, drop it and move on. That's what I've done with both people and situations in the last week.

That's the significance of a bomb. That's the significance of an explosion, because all that stood in the way has been obliterated and cleared out. As damaging and horrific as it may seem at first, the aftermath is clean and clear. There's nothing laying around in the way left for the bomb to blow up and clear away...and you can rebuild and start anew. And that's what I'm looking forward to...

The clean path in front of me where more of the wrong people are removed from my life and the situations, though some hurtful and grave are always lessons learned nowadays. And seeing all of this, I don't think there are any bombs left to go off, just thank yous. Thanks to all of you who have shown your true colors finally so that I can be a stronger person and finally realize that neither your opinions or existence is anymore of concern to me...

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