Empress of THE Ring?

Current thoughts on the brain have been about marriage...

So many who know me knew that I want to get married, now. It could've happened today and in most cases I would've been thrilled. It's not about the white dress, and an 8 story cake-the event is not that huge to me, _________ and I could elope if he wanted to. To me, its about the prospect of living and being settled. I'm not a cheerleader for instability and its something that freaks me out. Even if I've been in a solid relationship for 2 years I feel like nothing is set in stone until I'm married to a man. I could see myself already married, living comfortably with my husband. These have always been my thoughts, things I'm teased about all the time by girlfriends but lately I'm having a real change of pace.

I might actually, be getting cold feet...
After writing "Say My Name", The Significant and I got into a massive argument...One that makes me think, I'm not too sure if I'm ready to take the punches...and roll with them.
Looking at men as a WHOLE, not just The Significant, I'm...nervous...

I can't get a man who has a good job....
..or is set on fixing that job...
Or has finished college.....
...so therefore, has no degree....
he usually doesn't have goals, or starts out PERFECT and AMBITIOUS and loses everything
they're usually hot...
I'm stickler about sex, but then again, who isn't?
I usually am a magnet for men who have deep, dark pasts that tell me NOTHING and I have to find out EVERY THING usually resulting in a crushing heartbreak.
I wind up with the boys who don't like advice...good advice and insist on going to their own destruction...

Maybe I'm realizing, I'm not ready to be hurt all the time.
Maybe, I love too much, and too hard and there isn't anyone around right now to appreciate that.
The conversation between The Significant and I showed a lot of...true colors. It evidently appears that we might truly be heading into a breakup, if not right now...in the near future. It's evident that our feelings for each other are not mutual.

I'm broken down, and broken hearted...so look forward to those posts to come...

And maybe the ring feels a little weird on that finger any way...