How to Become a Socialite
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Do you really want to be a socialite? The socialites that we see in the media already have their wealth and status from the day they were born. More than likely you are starting from scratch. To get the know-how, don't look at Paris Hilton or Ivanka Trump. Watch Mr. Hilton and Mr. Trump and you are on your way to becoming a socialite. Well, it is hard work, but this is for those social climbers out there who want to put an impressionable foot in the door. This guide will help you get into there, the rest is up to you!
Steps
Climbing up the social ladder and making a name for yourself
- Create the suitable background for yourself. Your roots are very important for other socialites; one without a prestigious familial background is often qualified as "unsuitable" for becoming a socialite. As most people that come across this page, you're probably not filthy rich, unlike socialites who will expect you to have something fabulous to say about your background. In this case, be reclusive about your past. When people ask you about your early life -and they will-, think of some interesting details to tell them. Avoid any embarrassing details and focus on saying positive things. Rich people want their entourage to come from a good familial background (and good means rich here) for a very simple reason: they want to surround themselves with well-educated people. So, as long as you are mannered and proper, they won't care that much.
- Get the right education. Preparation for becoming a socialite begins in middle school. Of course, it is possible to become a socialite even if you weren’t brilliant in middle and high school and didn’t attend prestigious colleges, but it’s much harder.
- If you are still in middle school or high school, make the best you can out of your school years. Get excellent grades (B’s are the lowest grades accepted, C’s are unacceptable), get involved in extracurricular activities, and obtain high scores at exams.
- Attend prestigious universities; either one of the Ivy League ones (warning: you must pay up to $50,000 a year, so make sure you save enough money for that), or a renowned European one (Sorbonne in Paris, or Oxford and Cambridge in the UK).
- Choose the right career paths. Choose either one of these: art, literature, fashion, or finance. The career path you choose must be somehow related to fine living. Even if all well-paid fields are just fine, you're more likely to meet socialites in these ones.
- Learn a few foreign languages. French is a must; German, Spanish and Italian would also help. But the more languages you know, the better.
- If you are still in middle school or high school, make the best you can out of your school years. Get excellent grades (B’s are the lowest grades accepted, C’s are unacceptable), get involved in extracurricular activities, and obtain high scores at exams.
- Get an extremely well-paid job. In theory, it is quite easy: establish a business and make it grow. Again, pick one of the fields above; if you do, you’ll certainly find quite a lot of well-paid, fun jobs. Strive to be the best in your field; try to meet some famous people working in your field and learn their secrets. Start small; you won't be extremely successful by the beginning of your career. Get a few different jobs in the field, gather experience, then start a brand of your own.
- Learn how to promote yourself. Make a website for yourself or your company, make some business cards, convince some related brands to power you, advertise yourself or your company in some newspapers or magazines and so on. Especially at the beginning of your career, it is very important to meet the right people. Establishing a good social network can get you many good deals. Go to events related to your field, meet some moguls in the given industry, and make them help you.
- Find someone very rich to marry. Yes, you can become a socialite by marrying the right person, without having to work for all that fortune yourself. You can then use your spouse's money to get a good start in business (you thought you could still get away without working? You will be disappointed to find out you can't, dear). Do you think Tinsley Mortimer was always one of the most prominent socialites in Manhattan? Wrong. She wasn't that known until she married Robert "Topper" Mortimer, a very rich banker, and became a designer for the handbag line Samantha Thavasa. So don't worry if you haven't been an excellent student; there's hope for you too.
- Do your homework. As a socialite, there are a few things you must (emphasize "must") know. For example, the most basic thing to start with is knowing the names and faces of the most prominent socialites of the moment. Go to Park Avenue Peerage and get familiar with the names under the "Profiles" section.
Acting as a socialite
- Choose a good name. Make sure it sounds extremely WASP-y, uncommon and maybe foreign. Don’t go for already “taken” last names such as Vanderbilt, because people know the Vanderbilts and will eventually figure you out.
- The caveat to the above is that you must look the part. If you have olive skin, kinky hair and brown eyes, no one is going to buy you as Muffie Sutton. In this case, you are better off settling for something that suggests old Spanish heritage ("Isabella Segovia").
- The caveat to the above is that you must look the part. If you have olive skin, kinky hair and brown eyes, no one is going to buy you as Muffie Sutton. In this case, you are better off settling for something that suggests old Spanish heritage ("Isabella Segovia").
- Become interested in expensive stuff. Know all the big names in everything: fashion, art, crafts, cuisine, sports etc. In the socialites’ world, when someone mentions a name, everybody is expected to know it. Also be able to pronounce all those foreign names properly. You may want to start reading some specialty magazines.
- If you're clueless about anything luxurious, go on Fashion Net and start doing your research. The website contains some excellent links to the sites of the brands that matter. Try acquiring some stuff from any of those brands.
- If you're clueless about anything luxurious, go on Fashion Net and start doing your research. The website contains some excellent links to the sites of the brands that matter. Try acquiring some stuff from any of those brands.
- Break the nouveau riche stereotype. "Nouveau riche" is an often derogatory term used to describe the upper class people who don't come from a wealthy family and achieved their fortune through work, not heritage. You may get looked down upon just for the fact that previous generations in your family were not wealthy. It's a sad fact of life; however, it can be diminished by not acting like the stereotypical new money fellow. Noveau riche tend to be more extravagant in appearances, but is understandable, because they automatically link opulence with happiness; but in time, the second, third, and so on generations who grew up with wealth tend not to find it that much important.
- Don't be too enthusiastic about your possessions; for true upperclassmen, wealth is something they got used with, therefore they don't make too many thoughts about it. Be modest and don't brag about your belongings. Better yet, don't mention prices at all.
- Spend your money wisely. Don't rush into buying opulent stuff, just because you can afford it; have a little class. Don't show off your economic status by being as extravagant as possible; you will only end up looking ridiculous ad proving that you have no experience whatsoever in being rich. To summarize, don't be a total snob.
- Don't be too enthusiastic about your possessions; for true upperclassmen, wealth is something they got used with, therefore they don't make too many thoughts about it. Be modest and don't brag about your belongings. Better yet, don't mention prices at all.
- Be sophisticated. Refinement is the quality that separates ditzy celebrities from the true elite; lack of sophistication is a crime in the socialite world.
- Have excellent manners. Used to slouch, put your elbows on the table while eating, yawn without covering your mouth? Such signs of lack of good breeding are unacceptable among the socialites. Your manners must be perfect. Buy the most detailed book on having good manners you can find, then learn it by heart.
- Be cultured. Read a lot, visit museums and art galleries, go to the theatre, meet artists and poets. Also keep in mind that it is unacceptable for a socialite not to know anything related to common knowledge; remember that if a 7th grader knows it, you're supposed to know it too. Re-familiarize yourself with basic history, science, geography and art.
- Speak properly. No slang whatsoever; cursing is also unacceptable. Use The Queen's English. Occasionally drop in some French words (like calling somebody “cheri” instead of “darling”). Use formal rather than informal language, both in speaking and in writing.
- Speak properly. No slang whatsoever; cursing is also unacceptable. Use The Queen's English. Occasionally drop in some French words (like calling somebody “cheri” instead of “darling”). Use formal rather than informal language, both in speaking and in writing.
- Be confident. As glamorous as it may seem, the socialites' world is very gossipy and mean; and you'll need loads of confidence to make it through it all. If you don't consider yourself worthy enough to be among them, they won't either. Not to mention you often need witty comebacks when someone says something mean to you; and a person without confidence can't quickly say something witty back to them.
- Be classy and discrete. Avoid doing things that draw negative attention to you, such as being very loud, getting drunk at parties, flirting with everyone that crosses your path, or cursing.
- Be fashionable. It is crucial that you have a sense of style and wear stylish, tailored clothes- and brand names make a huge difference. Everything you wear in public should be designer. Adopt a classy, timeless style; something that now looks just as good as it looked in the '50s, and just as good as it will look over 50 years. For ladies, get inspired by Jackie O., Charlotte from Sex and the City and Audrey Hepburn. For gentlemen, a tailored suit will always do it. Also, you should have a signature look that distinguishes you from other people- a fetish for a certain color, a nice haircut, whatever.
- Have excellent manners. Used to slouch, put your elbows on the table while eating, yawn without covering your mouth? Such signs of lack of good breeding are unacceptable among the socialites. Your manners must be perfect. Buy the most detailed book on having good manners you can find, then learn it by heart.
- Travel a lot. There are some travel destinations you may not miss as a socialite- New York (obviously), Paris, London, Milan, Rome. Take the time to visit all the important places there.
- This goes for holiday destinations as well. Summer in the Hamptons (many famous people have summer houses in there) and winter in Aspen- these are the regular vacation spots for rich people. Other exotic, expensive destinations go as well- Hawaii, the Caribbean, Dubai, Greece.
- Avoid acting like the stereotypical tourist; many people, especially the locals, find it annoying. Don't combine a colorful T-shirt and some shorts with white sports shoes, a big backpack, a baseball cap, sunglasses and a huge camera hanging at your neck (the typical tourist outfit). Don't buy tons of cheap, tacky souvenirs. Don't travel in large groups- your family or significant other is enough.
- This goes for holiday destinations as well. Summer in the Hamptons (many famous people have summer houses in there) and winter in Aspen- these are the regular vacation spots for rich people. Other exotic, expensive destinations go as well- Hawaii, the Caribbean, Dubai, Greece.
- Be generous. The number one thing that you must do if you want to be a socialite is this- give. Yes, and you should have a few charities under your belt. The great thing about this part is that it can be whatever you want, whatever amount you want, be it $30 or $20,000. You don't have to tell people about how much you gave; just tell them about the cause. And as you go up the ranks you will be able to give more. Oh, and there are perks like meeting celebrities, the affluent, intellectuals, politicians, artists and free things like gifts, free access to facilities, and rooms not open to the public. For a good example, check out the Metropolitan Art Museum in New York.
- Socialize. After all, that's what being a socialite is all about.
- Make friends wherever you go. Whether you're at the local supermarket or at a posh event, you meet a lot of new people every day. Be friendly, appear interested in the person you're talking to, exchange phone numbers. But don't worry too much about establishing a genuine, lasting friendship with all those people. Keep your circle of close friends small, but establish superficial relationships with as many people as you can- you never know when you might need them. Remember, it's all about building a well-rounded social network; many of the "friendships" you'll establish will be for the sole purpose of gaining some advantages.
- Better yet, befriend the right people. A little chit-chat with the local it-girl can go a long way. Having a few socialite friends will come in very handy; after all, the simplest definition of being a socialite is hanging out with other socialites.
- Better yet, befriend the right people. A little chit-chat with the local it-girl can go a long way. Having a few socialite friends will come in very handy; after all, the simplest definition of being a socialite is hanging out with other socialites.
- Learn about event planning, and cultivate your taste in things like flowers, appetizers, music, etc. As a socialite, you'll be expected to throw some big, stylish events and parties. When you finally get your big break and your committee asks you to help plan some gala, this will come in handy. Reading Vogue (particularly the articles chronicling events thrown by real socialites) should help you develop this intuition. Of course, there will be a lot of people to help you plan an event, like your PR assistant, secretary and so on, but you must know how to organize them all. Get some phone numbers of service providers like caterers, decorators, DJs etc.; they're extremely useful.
- Have the magical C word- charisma. Don't be a bore. It's pretty easy- just act like you're having a great time. Smile a lot, have interesting conversations with other people at parties, be lively and energetic. As you spend more time around socialites, you will learn a few tricks about charming your audience.
- Be photographed next to VIPs. Photos of important people always appear in newspapers and magazines the day after an event- and you may have the chance to hit Page Six if there's someone famous next to you. But don't make it too obvious- like rushing by the closest socialite as soon as photographers enter your line of sight- that's just pathetic.
- Seek real friendship with some people. You will still need someone to be there for you when you fail- someone who would not alienate you from the very moment you show them your less perfect sides.
- Make friends wherever you go. Whether you're at the local supermarket or at a posh event, you meet a lot of new people every day. Be friendly, appear interested in the person you're talking to, exchange phone numbers. But don't worry too much about establishing a genuine, lasting friendship with all those people. Keep your circle of close friends small, but establish superficial relationships with as many people as you can- you never know when you might need them. Remember, it's all about building a well-rounded social network; many of the "friendships" you'll establish will be for the sole purpose of gaining some advantages.
Surviving in the world of the rich and famous & what not to do
- Don’t be a total social climber. These specimens are immediately detected and removed from the social scene; their desperation to become a socialite can be sensed in an instant. Being tagged as a social climber is the worst thing that can happen to an aspiring socialite.
- Don’t go out of your way just for meeting someone. Even if you happen to run across a VIP, don’t freak out; just be natural and treat them like you would treat any other person. If there’s someone you know from magazines or socialite blogs, but you haven’t been introduced to them, don’t say ‘hi’ to them. Doing all sorts of crazy stuff only to meet someone, like stressing out their personal assistant to make them give you their phone number, is also a big no-no.
- Don’t be desperate about getting into somebody’s good graces. Putting yourself in a position of inferiority to someone would do nothing but make that someone treat you like you were inferior. Have some dignity.
- Don’t auto-invite yourself to parties; this is extremely rude. Not to mention it’s very likely that the bodyguards will never let you in without an invitation, but as soon as the host notices you, you’ll be out of there in an instant; and you can say goodbye forever to other parties and events.
- Don’t go out of your way just for meeting someone. Even if you happen to run across a VIP, don’t freak out; just be natural and treat them like you would treat any other person. If there’s someone you know from magazines or socialite blogs, but you haven’t been introduced to them, don’t say ‘hi’ to them. Doing all sorts of crazy stuff only to meet someone, like stressing out their personal assistant to make them give you their phone number, is also a big no-no.
- Avoid controversy and scandals as much as possible. Do your best to keep your public image clean. No sex tapes, no drugs, no controversial divorces, no public breakdowns and scenes. Be respectable and mind your morals. Stay cool and collected even when you’re raging mad. If someone did something bad to you, find a civilized way to deal with the situation.
- Learn to deal with malicious gossip. Some people are very mean and catty, but don’t let yourself be affected by what they say. Remember that scandal Olivia Palermo was dragged into, which led to the closing of Socialite Rank? Her reputation was ruined soon after that, but she managed to end the charade by revealing the identity of those behind the bitchy, malicious socialite blog Socialiterank.com and defend her public image.
- Sometimes it's better not to reveal some things from your past (only if you're 100% sure they're not going to be discovered anyway). Don't give gossipers more material, so they can say more mean things about you. Of course, we're talking here about innocent little things that may get misinterpreted. If, for example, you had a nose job when you were still young and unknown, don't talk about it, if you don't want people to go like, "She's totally fake; just another manufactured beauty".
- The best way to bring gossipers to silence is to laugh it off and admit that you’re not perfect (even if society expects you to). By acting like that, you’ll gain many admirers and you’ll still be able to walk with your head held high, no matter what is said about you.
- Sometimes it's better not to reveal some things from your past (only if you're 100% sure they're not going to be discovered anyway). Don't give gossipers more material, so they can say more mean things about you. Of course, we're talking here about innocent little things that may get misinterpreted. If, for example, you had a nose job when you were still young and unknown, don't talk about it, if you don't want people to go like, "She's totally fake; just another manufactured beauty".
- Don't lose yourself. In a world as superficial and materialistic as that of socialites, it's very easy to forget who you really are and where you come from. Whenever you feel like it, take a break and unwind, to avoid turning into a very shallow person. Always keep in mind your personal values.
Useful links
http://www.fashion.net/
http://www.luxuryculture.com/welcome.html
http://www.style.com/
http://parkavepeerage.com/
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