Friday, September 11, 2009

New Jack Update: Going Back to Cali

I've been thinking...

Needless to say, anyone who knows the depth in which I function I am an over thinker to a fault.

I stated in Deep Inside of You that:

Turmoil and conflict exist...they are indeed a necessary evil.

Belittlement, disrespect and insecurity however, are not.

I'm starting to feel an indirect mixture of the two levels, in which I refuse to sit back and be comfortable in.
This time, I'm going to seek a near permanent solution for it.

In recent analysis of the groups of friends I keep, the conflict that exists-unnecessarily along with the combination of personality traits and behaviors I have come to the conclusion that I will forever be in this complex position if I do not remove the people who cause the issues or remove myself. I personally, have accepted the Summer of 2009 to be a blessing as the true colors of many have doth been revealed. Without that revelation, I would be in a miserable state of mind. The combination of these revelations, the inability of many to anything Brand New and even acceptance levels that it is what it is I have chosen to remove myself.

In order for me to excel in The Turning Point I have to acknowledge that there is a REASON why things don't change. People don't change. Situations don't change. Feelings don't change. I'm tired of things not changing. I'm tired of having to expect particular behavior and I'm tired of having to settle for less than my mind is worth.

With that being said, I'm investigating a four to six month live-in in California.

I already have someone to live with, I just need to come up with the money. I've always heard New Yorker celebrities state that they never got discovered until they picked up and moved to California and likewise, Californians have always said the same regarding their careers until they moved to New York. The same circle of drama is not progressing my life any further forward, it's just diverting my attention from chasing my own greatness.

And that, is not what I need in the least.

I can only hope, as there is a reason for everything, that when I pick up and move the people I left behind grow. I can only pray for their growth, not coerce it. I'm too fed up of the same excuses, same explanations and same old drama. As tired as I am just like in The Turning Point, I have to accept the reason. Maybe, me being so sick of what is constantly going on is the kick in the ass I needed to move on.

Who knows?
Or maybe, I'll find out as soon as I get to Cali.........

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