Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Fear of Success

I'm spending a little time researching the "Fear of Success". So far it doesn't have a "phobia" title, such as "claustrophobia" or "arachnophobia" but it's actually very, very real. It's stems in part from a fear of the future, what one may lose by progressing forward in life and issues with self-forgiveness where the person reminds themselves of their failures constantly.

"The fear of success is a very unique issue that arises when you are genuinely creating change and moving forward in your life," says Ti Caine, a hypnotherapist and life coach..

To create and sustain success it is essential to find and release your fears of success. The more you leave the task undone, the more your fears will control you. "it's the monster in the closet," says Caine. "And it gets bigger."

Fears of success tend to cluster around several issues. One of the core fears that arise from change is that success will lead to loneliness. Women especially fear success because they are afraid that being powerful enough to create the life they want will render them unlovable. Sometimes people fear success will mean being attacked by enemies, or besieged by others wanting money or other things from them.

Many women fear success at losing weight because becoming more attractive to others could jeopardize the love and the life they have or create situations they do not know how to handle.

Some fears of success are easy to release because they will probably never happen, such as fears of losing it all and becoming a bag lady. But some are real. When you change, the relationships around you will be forced to change. Some friends will always cheer you on. But others are steeped in jealousy and will denigrate you for moving forward.

But in everything I'm reading, there's a lot about self-sabotage and then the cycle of anger with yourself for that sabotage.
There are three essential parts to self-forgiveness. We must:

1. acknowledge the commission of an objective wrong and accept responsibility for that wrong,
2. experience feelings of guilt and regret, and finally
3. overcome these feelings (i.e., self-forgiveness), and, in doing so, experience a motivational change away from self-punishment toward self-acceptance.

I'm realizing that I don't get to step 3...
And because of that "I'm trying to do better, but only do good enough"-Drake

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