Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat

Trust me, I'm paying attention....
Even though one might be paying attention, sometimes you need someone to tell you about the damage you're doing...

Thursday night I received a piece of fan mail, that struck a chord with me. It struck a chord simply because it was the TRUTH. What I appreciate more than anything, is even though the truth might sting, my readers are as blunt if not worse than I am but always CLASSY about it simultaneously. Something I myself, adhere to being. You can speak the truth, and sting someone but if its done in such a manner of class, anyone who has evolved with a 21st century human backbone wouldn't take too much offense.

I'm rocking my readers' boats. Something they aren't too thrilled about. I've watched the page views skyrocket and simultaneously, I've watched the comments decrease...
This month, June 2008 has oddly enough been the most amount of page views I've EVER received since beginning "The New Jack" and yet, my subscriber count is heading the EXACT opposite direction. Niecey saw it fit to drop an apple on my head as to why....
"As of late, however, I have been a little disappointed. Girl you are extremely talented and I want more out of your blog than you're giving these days. Call me selfish or a fiend, I just appreciate good writing and yours is def one that I appreciate and I admire your work actually. I know you had taken an extensive break from the blog scene and said you would explain, I was anticipating that but seemingly, it was never posted. I know you are extremely busy and although I don't know you I am so happy that you are doing your thing! But I feel neglected as a faithful reader of your blogs. "

I'm ashamed...not hurt in the least, ashamed because I completely agree on the truth.
For anyone who has seen the musical, "Guys and Dolls" there is a song called "Sit down, You're Rocking The Boat". ("Guys and Dolls" is my favorite musical of all time. ) The song is a warning to one of the characters of the musical about his actions on his boat ride to heaven:

"I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven
And by some chance I had brought my dice along
And there I stood
And I hollered "Someone fade me"
But the passengers, they knew right from wrong.
For the peopel all said sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat

People all said sit down
Sit down you're rockin' the boat.

And the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat,
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,

Sit down you're rockin' the boat."-{source, bitches}

All Niecey wanted to do was warn me about messing up on my ride to heaven. When I started "The New Jack", to say I was in a rut was an understatement. I graduated from college with my B.A. in Music and just completed my internship thinking I had the world in the palm of my hand to conquer. Here I am world, Music Industry and Record labels, here I come. I was greeted by a VERY rude awakening. I spiraled into depression, miserable that I was unemployed for 7 months, had gotten arrested with my friend and was in turmoil between my family and The Significant. My dreams had collapsed in front of me and I said to myself-"here it is, the realization that you're going to be one of those people who loved music and entertainment with all your heart but you're going to be that old person that explains to the young ones how you never made it". And I contemplated suicide several, several times.
My mentor, Nancy, saw what was underway and said it again. "Start writing-just start with a blog. You're so crazy, someone is bound to read it, because you need your own reality TV show" I never took her seriously, but in the midsts of just needing to flood my feelings to someone who CARED, I just did. And I was honest, about everything and I will continue to be honest.

This site, these writings, you people who have read, subscribed, commented, or simply page viewed have saved my life from a very, very dark corner. I've been beyond exhausted-I've just gotten a permanent job after these months of unemployment, just bought a car, trying to correct double digit thousands of debt to catch up on from the hard times and suffering from Iron deficiency anemia and Hypoglycemia simultaneously has been kicking my royal ass. But this isn't my job, this site...

It's my life.
I intend to move from the job I have one day with the funding for this site and my own music and fashion magazine. I'm a "life journalist". The New Jack site, is about life-my life, your life, entertainment life, music life, sad life, healthy lives...-those are the niches.

"And if you don't know, now you know"

It's time for me to get back on the ball....I agree with you Niecey and I apologize to any readers I've left more Damaged than Danity Kane because I've noticed your warning signals. An e-mail, helps. It put everything in perspective for me. If I'm ever needed to be reached, the e-mail for this site is:

NewJack14@gmail.com

The feedback was beyond appreciated...don't worry, I won't be rocking the boat anymore...

Love always,

Your friendly neighborhood
New Jack