Robocop

I can finally...express it..sort of...

It's like..pouring water on a robot...

Similar to spilling coffee on your keyboard...

The power surge that kicks out your cable..

Or when you while walking, trip, drunk as all hell, and drop your cell phone into your Long Island Iced Tea..

It's truly a shut down..

I'm moving like a Robocop....
All my movements and speech have become so robotic and foreign to me.
You can't just kick it, and expect it to restart. There is a significant amount of water/liquid/physical trauma to the item that is going to take extensive repair to bring it back to its original working form. In some instances, it needs to be replaced entirely..........

I've tried to have extensive control over a vast amount of things going on in my life and instead, things have just gotten even worse so out of my control. That plus, the regular good, old curve ball always added to my life as a mix for shits and giggles equals me becoming a total robot.
I've been so overly kind, and I've tried my hardest to reduce the effect of my blunt speech as it has come into view that it affects a numerous amount of people. After taking such careful effort and taking control to curb it, it comes out that I already have such a bad rep that several people actually....fear me. Like almost fear for their life, fear me. The norm statement I'm hearing way to regularly is becoming "I didn't do this because I'm afraid of you, that's why". ; "I didn't say it because I'm afraid of you".
I mean...it's gotten to a point that people are apparently afraid to even take money if it involves me, because they apparently fear that somehow in this wild recession it's not worth it to take the money if it could pose the risk of them screwing it up and me knowing about it. Word on the block is people are apparently so shook up by my "scary" character that they've rejected jobs because somehow I'm involved with the job description..Result? I become robotic and greet everyone overly happy {i.e. google: Barney; purple dinosaur, not the retail haven}, stifling my personality and keeping more quiet than I ever have been in life for the sake of "keeping the peace". I promise, one of two things is going to happen..I'm either going to spaz out completely (i.e. google: N.E.R.D) or I'm going to stay quiet forever.

I've tried to take such control over this blog situation, knowing I'm being hacked crazily since August 2008. I can't get anyone it seems like to help. The more I seek help with changing the layout for the things I know not how to do as well as virus/robot help, the more I can't find anyone..Result? I get MORE frustrated, I get robotic and write less because a part of me sees my work going to shambles. I'm supposed to be taking some courses in writing, InDesign, Photoshop etc. but that starts with purchasing a new laptop, and paying $425 per class in Manhattan so I can put them on my resume as fuel..neither of the necessary tools I have as I write this right now. I realize more and more, the more you want something done..learn to do it yourself. The idea of "networking" for help, is complete bullshit..as everyone is either A.) out for themselves B.) doesn't care what you need C.) doesn't have time D.) is looking for a way to hold you to the help you requested as a pull for sometime in the future E.) all of the friggin above.
I'm struggling, editing and attempting HTML/CSS updates as I TYPE..

Go figure...

I've tried to take care of my health situation..only lately, if I actually remember it, the medication I'm on is to be taken in 3 dosages, daily, until further notice regarding my life. Of course, "Doc" informed me that this is technically going to serve as a "life" condition..so, I'll be on medication, forever. When I take all 3 dosages, I do feel better..but this was after several weeks of me having no medication and being able to do nothing because all I did was sleep! In review, I've gained a total of 28lbs. That, is equivalent to a young human..
It just seemed the more I tried to fight my thyroid, the more it knocked me down. Result? The score has definitely been: Thyroid: 12,000,000 vs. New Jack: 0.

I guess..
I'm just becoming very aware of myself slipping into a dark hole. The only two things that have kept me afloat these last two weeks, have been The Significant and my BFF. They've been attentive, very caring, thoughtful, and concerned just to say the least. They've noticed the frustration, and the very odd change in my expression as I'm acting SUPER introverted as opposed to the extrovert they're so overly familiar with.

Or rather, they're becoming concerned about the introvert that I never was...
a Robocop...

Tyra Mail! Millionaire's Secrets to Success

" Find out how to strike it rich on your own with tips from millionaire moguls, inventors and entrepreneurs.

Sara Blakely
Creator of Spanx
www.spanx.com

1. Look at a failure as an opportunity.
2. Visualize where you want to be.
3. Set goals and write them down.
4. Initially, don't tell anyone about your idea.
5. There is no such thing as a bad idea.

Russell Simmons
Founder of DefJam Records and Phat Farm
www.defjam.com
www.phatfarm.com

1. Sell things that people need and can use for a long time.
2. Freeze your ideas and go to work on it.
3. Have faith and do what you believe in.
4. Pray, meditate and look inside yourself for answers.

Kelly Blakely & Brendan Synnott
Owners of Bare Naked
www.bearnakedgranola.com

1. Get your hands dirty.
2. LOVE what you do.
3. Great execution makes you successful, NOT great ideas.
4. Focus on being the best at one or two things, not 20.
5. Be Patient.

Gavin and Joe Maloof
Owners of the Sacramento Kings
www.maloofproductions.com
www.maloofmusic.com
www.nba.com

1. There is no substitute for hard work.
2. Always return phone calls.
3. Hire people who are loyal and honest.
4. Take care of your employees.
5. Invest in yourself.

Tracy Brennan
Creator of Kalologie
www.kalologie.com

1. Do your homework.
2. Make sure you're funded enough so you don't run out of money halfway through the launch of your business.
3. If you're a stay at home mom, be prepared to juggle!
4. Don't take "no" for an answer"

Melyssa Ford Update: KING 50th Anniversary

The originated, never duplicated...
Two internet exclusives of Melyssa Ford not featured in the March 2009 KING magazine celebrating their 50 anniversary edition..

Christina Milian Update: KING magazine 50th anniversary

Continued from the last of this post...

Miss Milian's magazine shots...

Katy Perry Update: Hello Kitty Corset

I love this woman more and more, daily.........her style is the truth.

Fear Me Not

I'm so done...
I'm so tired of it....

It truly has come into my knowledge that everyone I know is truly intimidated by me or lives in some secret fear OF me. And it's truly breaking my heart...

Between work, home, play and everything else inbetweeen its true that the vast span of people I interact with are afraid of me. I, of course, don't view myself as a scary person. I'm someone who stand for what they believe in, as per instruction growing up. I'm alert and intelligent, there's no reason to observe and not acknowledge feelings that I might have regarding something and that shouldn't be based upon the likeness of anyone else...

I'm really...hurt. I actually feel myself shutting down, secluding myself pretty much..

It's another reflection of how unfortunately, honesty has gotten me nowhere despite my constant and consistent attempts in continuously doing so.
I'm truly so saddened by it, that I really can't even vent it all out the way I'm trying to...
...That's got to mean that I'm shutting down...

Losing Sight

Maybe exhaustion is getting me down...Or
Maybe it's the aggravation I just recently described...in Fear Me Not..

The disaray makes me feel like I'm slightly losing sight of my plans..I'm starting to fall back into the trap of seeing my collegues surpass me again...all because I'm extremely saddened and unhappy with such a list of various situations.

I feel myself shutting down..I truly, truly do.

Not telling people how I feel.

Concising my responses.

Pulling back on levels of friendliness.

All of the above that are so completely, not me. However, the yesterday with me even feeling this way, a friend of mine sent me a quote via text almost as if he could sense that I needed to hear something to bring me up....

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"

New Jack Update: The week ahead..Vision Board beginning

I'm exhausted...

I mean I'm sure 85 different people could agree they're tired of hearing that statement altogether and I don't blame them. I've sort of lost place...

I will be off at the end of the week and I'm looking forward to getting my thyroid game on the right track and hopefully that will mean less a and more,better quality posts. I'm pretty disappointed in how I've done this month. I start new meds tomorrow.....

More updates when I'm feeling better ...

Tyra Mail! 5 Ways Not to Cry at Work

"Keep the waterworks out of the office!

Crying at the office is never good for anyone's career, but let's face it, being young and female in the workplace can be a challenge. Hannah Seligson, career advice expert and author of "New Girl on the Job," shares a few of the sure-fire ways not to let your work frustrations get the best of you.

Negotiate Your Salary Ahead of Time
Finding out the guy sitting next to you makes 20% more money is sure to bring on the waterworks. And this is not uncommon -- according to a 2007 study by the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation, just one year out of college, women working full time already earn less than their male colleagues, even when they work in the same field. So, while you think you're too young to negotiate salary, think again! Remember, you can't get what you don't ask for. So, don't be afraid and negotiate!

Stop Making Copies!
Fetching coffee, Xeroxing, and other administrative tasks are things we all have to do at one point or another, but don't allow yourself to be pigeonholed into only playing the assistant role. Make sure you're clear in the beginning of a job what your role is within the company. That way, people know what they can and cannot ask you to do.

Don't Burn the Midnight Oil
Wearing yourself out is no way to get ahead in your career. Don't sacrifice your health, lunch or social life to run yourself into the ground. Keep in mind, working smart does not mean working the longest. Stay organized and goal-oriented. Is spell checking something 80 times really a good way to utilize your time?

Never Ask Someone, "Will You Be My Mentor?"
This question is the workplace equivalent of, "Will you be my boyfriend?" Having mentors is an important part of successfully navigating one's career, but asking someone this question point-blank will only freak them out. Instead, approach potential mentors in a more organic way. Be specific with what you want and ask something like, "Hey, can I sit down with you at some point to get your advice on a new project I'm working on?"

Think Career Instead of Job
Thinking of your job as only a 9 to 5 kind-of-a-thing will only lead to a miserable, dead-end position. Your career choice should be something that gets you excited to wake up in the morning. If you think of your long-term career as something you'd like to see yourself doing years down the road, you'll be much more likely to avoid any workplace unhappiness.

For more career tips for women who not only want to survive but THRIVE in the workplace, check out Hannah Seligson at hannahseligson.com."
{source}

Kid Kudi Update: Day N Nite

I'm posting this video strictly out of love for my best friend...
This is her ringtone right now..

Kanye West Update: Welcome to Heartbreak Video

From the FIRST time I heard this album, I played this song on repeat I can't count how many times...
It touched me much for some reason....

Maybe it's the visions of what I really want to do with my life...those are the visions I can't seem to stop having...

Rihanna Update: Assault Photo

This.....
Truly, truly breaks my heart....I don't think any human deserves this...
And I truly loved them as a couple and always saw them going far together. I did feel like they looked perfect together...

But looking perfect together, doesn't mean being perfect together...

New Jack Update: The Sleep Demon

"I'm not dead.."Pink

..I think I directly relate to that statement as over this entire month I've done mass updates in single blocks as opposed to daily or even every other day even..and I've wanted to change that seriously but as my thyroid and body get weaker and my job gets HARDER there's been considerably less of The New Jack to go around.
Somthing I'm not proud of in the least. I've felt so inspired in the last week to devise a true vision board and have been so bogged down that starting one has become almost impossible.. I mean can I live???

Apparently not.

I went to my thyroid doctor again on Tuesday of this week..and I thnk its better to quote her: "Basically..we are at the stage where yor body feels that your thyroid is completely foreign and is essentially doing a damn good job of...killing it off "

Come again?
Killing.. IT...off? "Yep thats why you're gaining more weight, more irritable and sleeping close to anywhere between 11-13 hours"

Uh-huh..brilliant. Thank you body for killing shit that you're NOT supposwd to but when it comes to the flu you just fall back like it's all good in the hood. GOOD JOB guys.

I've been sleeping more, writing less, my social life has been on pause all because I'm in bed at 8:30PM and up at 7:10AM and somehow still exhausted. I'm doing more blood tests in the week to come and trying out another new medication, here's to hoping something like more of my eyes open in the next weeks...
That of course, means more of what I should be doing...writing...

Tyra Mail! Biggest Office DONT'S

" Which bad habits are keeping you from getting promoted?

It's clear that you're oh-so-talented -- both in and outside of the cubicle farm. You're always on time (usually five minutes early). Thanks to your fabulous fashion sense, you're consistently dressed to impress. And you're a networking machine when you run into uber-important execs at the water cooler. So what's keeping you from the promotion you deserve? No need to call Miss Cleo for some psychic insight into the head of your boss. We've got all the insight you need into the three little mistakes you didn't even realize you were making.

You talk like a ditz -- even though you aren't.
When you're gossiping with your gal pals, it's perfectly acceptable to talk, uh, you know, like, sooo like this. But at the office, you should cut down on the filler. It's, like, easy to let it happen. But to get ahead, you've got to talk with authority to convince your bosses that you're a super-strong woman who knows what she's talking about. Because you are -- and you do. You just might not, uh, sound like it.

You minimize your success -- even though you're amazing at what you do.
Remember when you were a wee one and someone would look at you and say, "You're so pretty." Chances are, in true cute little girl fashion, you would answer with a simple, "I know." And chances are, your mother told you that you should be modest and just say thank you instead. The corporate world doesn't work that way. You shouldn't downplay your strengths. Your boss may be too busy to see how hard you're working, so let her know. The next time you finish a project, shoot her an email and tell her you put a lot of time into it and you're incredibly proud of the outcome.

You don't take on responsibility -- even though you're capable.
It's normal to be afraid of failure. But is that caution keeping you from showing your boss how talented you are? Playing it safe might prevent you from taking difficult assignments which, when you absolutely rock them, will show higher-ups how promo-worthy you really are. Sure, it might feel scary, but we're confident in you!"

{source}

Lady Gaga Update: Love Game

"Let's have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your Disco stick"

Ciara Update: Takin Back My Love

A song with Enrique Inglesias?

New Jack Update: Many Men

Oh Lord,

"Today.."wasn't a "good day"...
Far from...

I'm realizing from the state of affairs that maybe, "many men wish death upon me" (50 Cent)..The occupational hazards and swagger jacking seems to be intensifying by the WEEK. I'm literally being reduced to a crawling point. I was at such a point of frustration and anger today, that it truly was almost too easy to quit...

I was written up today..I believe for "insubordination"..however, I'm more intrigued with the fact that apparently, unbeknownst to me this is my SECOND writeup and I've had no physical (letter, printed e-mail, etc.) documentation of either.

As per 50 Cent, a fan of him I am not, however in the song "Many Men" there is a gratitude for the presence of "haters" if you will. He acknowledges the blatant hatred, the attackers, the death wishes etc. but in all this attacks, he still is the survivor. After the shooting, surviving 9 bullets he acknowledges that despite all those who attempt to tear him down as well as kill him, he's living because he has some form of divine purpose.

So as the swagger jacking continues, and I lose more of my sense of self and personality meanwhile cut down to "size" I guess I have to force myself into the belief that outside of these occupational hazards, I have an actual...purpose.

Maybe it's possible "I'm the diamond in the dirt, that ain't been found"

Christina Milian Update: KING magazine 50th anniversary

KING magazine celebrates its 50th birthday with Miss Milian..

The Dream Update: Rockin' That Thang

This song is in current rotation in my car and Ipod right now...

10 of 12

Ok, so a recap....

I've been wildly busy..
Wildly...

My mother's brother passed away, Paul. Since the death, everything has just been spinning and I haven't gotten a chance to sit and update about..anything and everything. A lot of my family, inclusive of my parents actually left for Jamaica this morning for them to all be together. My mom is one of 12 kids, and now only 10 are left after this death. Things have just been in total uproar since then and I've spent plenty an exhausted night last week going to bed as "late" as 9:30P.M.

..Go me...

At the place of employment, naturally nothing has gotten better..just more stressful, more exhausting and making me thoroughly more depressed. I don't even feel the need to fake the friendliness at this point. I'm so OVER doing what I'm doing, that I speak to who I need to speak to in order to get the job done..and if not, oh well. I have no inspiration, motivation, etc. except for the sole fact of my check every two weeks....

I've been so exhausted and the week prior was so drama filled that I truly couldn't get a good sit down and write about the one thing I needed to vent about...life.

My mind is on another planet, making all these plans and trying to put things into action...
More on the swirling in my head later...

Givenchy Phenomen'Eyes Mascara

This is certainly coveted by The New Jack...

Only available at Sephora.com

Kim Kardashian Update: 2009 Grammy's Look

I really enjoyed this look of Kim Kardashian at the 2009 Grammy's...
Of course there is the hoopla of Chris Brown and Rihanna, which the best review I've read thus far has truly been from Necole Bitchie, but that aside..Kim Kardashian's dress was beautiful..















































I've always been a huge fan of her style, but even more so these past couple days between her choices and her make-up artist Troy Jensen I'm loving her even MORE.


























Her dress was by Maticevski, and of course, her shoes were Louboutin..

New season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians airs on 3/8/2009..

Lady Gaga Update: Eh Eh

Lady Gaga
"Eh Eh"

I'm loving this girl's style...

Tyra Mail! Surviving Worst-Case Work Scenarios

"When disaster strikes the workplace (i.e., you screw up), we've got your survival plan.

Fear not the wrath of "The Devil Wears Prada" boss -- everyone makes mistakes. When your boss asks for coffee, don't spin yourself into a frenzy for putting skim milk in it instead of two percent, just do some damage control. We've got plans to save your cute little butt (and your job) when you mess up big time!

You Got Caught Perusing the Job Boards
Don't try to pawn the search off on a lame excuse, like "The jobs are for my cousin!" The more professional you can be in this situation, the better. Your boss may very well talk to you to see how to improve your day-to-day experience. Or, you might get fired. While this blunder could spell doom for you at your current job, it also may be just the ammunition you need to get out and find what will truly make you happy.

You Entered the "Reply All" Death Trap
This one has become such a constant office fear that most of us channel Santa: making an e-mail list and checking it twice before sending out a message that's naughty and not so nice. If you do accidentally send a mean or embarrassing message to everyone, the only thing to do is to take the walk of shame to the injured party and beg for forgiveness. Your honesty should save you, but be extra careful -- repeat offenders won't escape unscathed.

You Spaced and Forgot to Prep for a Meeting
Fake it 'til you make it. Don't act flustered or freaked out -- and whatever you do, don't tell anyone that you sooo forgot about this meeting. Just grab a notebook, take tons of notes, nod when others talk and try to add your own thoughts when you can. This way, even if you have no idea what to say, everyone else will think that you're really engaged and on top of things."
{source}

Tyra Mail! How to use Facebook to Grab a Job

" Use this social networking site to network your way to success!

You spend so much time on Facebook as it is, why not use it to get ahead in the career world? If you're looking for a career change -- barista to stylista, for example -- or just are in need of a better position (no more mail room for you!), you can turn to some of these helpful Facebook hints to get the ball rolling.

Read Like a Resume
Wipe your cyber-slate clean and start over. Remove those pictures from Cabo and include information about what makes you such a good candidate for a job. If the idea of becoming too clean cut -- even in cyberspace -- is a bit much, create a second profile just for the purposes of networking.

Make New Friends ... But Keep the Old
Providing you left on good terms, make friends with people from your past jobs. Maybe when you left your internship, they didn't have a job opening but they do now. Or perhaps an old company has expanded, or maybe someone just knows someone who might be able to help you. In any case, don't burn bridges!

Put it Out There
Update your Facebook status to include things like "looking for an editorial assistant position." Putting what you want out there can NEVER hurt, and doing this is a good start. This works especially well in an industry where freelancing and internships are often available in an under-the-radar type of way. Maybe that first magazine you worked for went defunct, but the former editorial assistant is head writer somewhere new and can get you some assignments. Who knew Facebook was for more than stalking -- er, checking up on -- your ex? " {source}

10 of 12

My uncle died the night before..this makes my mother one of 10 children now instead of one of 12..
More after my place of employment...

New Jack Update: 25 Things about The New Jack, herself

I wrote this elsewhere...
And it happened to be a hit, so why not here?

1. My ex-boyfriend's mom told him that dating me was like "eating his own vomit". Her comment still affects me, to this day. It makes me second guess if I'm such a horrible person to be with or if I'm such a bad girlfriend, will I ever find true love...

2. I believe VERY strongly in true love and monogamy. My parents have been married for 24 years and even though they argue and fight when they look into each others eyes I know they LOVE each other. When my dad tickles my mom I feel their love for one another. I believe there is ONE, just ONE true love for every single person on this earth. I don't believe in cheating and don't get me started on the word "DIVORCE" in my world,its never existed..and I intend on it staying that way..

3. My bottom teeth are really crooked and my mom is the only person that makes me feel awfulll about it. But everyone thinks I have a prettiest smile

4. My butt and boobs has been an "issue" my entire life..my mom started dressing me like a boy at age 11-12...when I was already wearing a 32C bra. I'm not obsessed with them at all the way all my friends/guys are..I actually think I have a really pretty nose, and I'm a fan of the mole on my upper lip because its so Cindy Crawford but not haha, and I think my vagina is bald and gorgeous btw..

5. When I think about how much I love my BFF (let's get gay), it brings tears to my eyes VERY quickly. I can't believe that two spirits can be so kindred..I think she was specifically made for me for the position in my life she plays. I block out her car accident as if it didn't happen because I can't envision my life without her. When her and I fight, I know I sound like a jealous boyfriend.. :/ I'm VERY VERYpossessive of her. I often oddly think about the fact that I know I can't outlive her..I don't think I'd be ready to be admitted into a psych ward.
Seriously, if I'm Danny Zucco, she's my Kenickie..with a curled coif of hair, a black T-bird jacket and a cigarrette in her mouth telling me to get over whatever drama "Sandy" is causing me. I envy her dimples, lashes and flexibility and she'll never understand how much she means to me even though in fights I refuse to acknowlege it...

6. My little brother is the only child I'll ever "have". I practically raised him and I do think I did an exceptional job, always being severely honest with him. I truly don't think I want children. They seem like a true serious never ending love killing hassle. I don't think I'm going to be a good mother for a child past the age of 4 or 5. He is the only boy that will have my whole heart and soul..they belong to him, forever. However, my current bf Matthew is the only, ONLY man I've truly loved enough to say in all seriousness..i would have a baby for in a heartbeat...and keep.

7. I'm pretty certain my mother resents me. I've always felt shes hated me since the age of 4. I'm a severe daddys girl...I truly truly do not want to outlive my father. She doesn't talk to me 15% as much as I would like her to...
...we never get "deep" and our relationship has been severely..damaged.

8. Boys always use a line regarding the mole on my upper lip to try and get the first kiss. Even though I've heard it so many times before..it still makes me smile and it never gets old :)

9. My whole life DREAM was to be a famous singer, and I used to (past tense) have a really good voice. I'm terrified to even sing in the car alone now, and I felt like my opportunity has truly left. I wake up every.single. day. of.my. life. thinking I missed my opportunity to complete my life goal.I have books upon books of all the songs I've written, designs of stage costumes, the whole 9.98646 yards. I wouldn't be a quarter as unhappy as I am now if I was in the studio... I cry myself to sleep over it....regularly.

10. I have no patience for people who don't KNOW who they are/what they stand for/etc. after a certain age. That's acceptable for my 17yr old brother, but not anyone over the age of 21. It took me a long, long time to find out who I was and now that I know and I'm proud of it..I have a hard time dealing with people who don't..they get swayed by the WRONG things and I don't want them to feel the PAIN I've felt. They remind me of my former self, so I don't get close to them...

11. I don't think my face is a quarter as pretty as I'm so often told..my face is really fat, and that's never been a physical feature people have "lusted" after..I want to have my cheeks shaved down by DR.90210

12. If I get knocked up (which I shouldn't be saying this)..and it's a boy, I'm naming him Kenickie, like Kenickie from "Grease". The runner up baby name is "Jayden/Jayedenne" and ironically, my BFF wants to name her baby Jayden too! Destined to be bffs!!!!!

13. The thought of me dying and leaving this earth forever makes my knees buckle. I can't handle the uncertainty of heaven vs. hell vs. just darkness without vomiting instantly.

14. I secretly fear that men talk about me to their guy friends and call me a pillow princess behind my back...because I can't cum for the life of me on top..I don't feel anything worth anything, so if I'm in that position I'm doing solely for the guy..I fear they talk and say that they do all the work :/

15. I really REALLY like to take pictures of outside. I have too many photos of just the sky and concrete jungles..those are my favorites.

16. I didn't smoke until I was nearly 22..much to contrary belief that I roll dutches w/my eyes closed and my fingers crossed.

17. I despise my nails so much..they're so brittle, horrific etc. hence why I usually pay for acrylics to cover them, but no matter HOW short and even in a solid color..white america deems black women who wear acrylics as ghetto, so I made my goal for '09 to not wear them. I'm going on my first week strong.

18. I love fur..real fur and I hate when people bother me about it. I'm fucking WARM and comfy AND its in the bible to that God put man on earth to rule over the birds of the air, the fish of the sea etc. READ IT IN GENESIS. I respect PETA but I don't respect destruction of property. If its ok for you to throw red paint on what I may have saved over $500 for..then its totally ok for me to slash your face. An eye for an eye.

19. The music of Jason Mraz saved my life. He helped me find who I am..and I would do absolutely anything to meet him, hold him and tell him how hes saved me.

20. I have keloid skin..meaning, when I get cut my skin OVERheals. Therefore, my ears are NOT pierced, belly button, nada. I pierced the only place that wouldn't keloid, my tongue :D

21. It really hurts my feelings that women are SO initimidated by me. None of them give me a chance. Absolutely NONE. I can't even introduce myself before they've sized me up and cut me down to nothing and try to do all in their power to destroy me and hurt me. Women have treated me so bad and brought me to some of the lowest lows in my whole life. Funny enough, I'm so pro-girl power..

22. I was date raped at age 17

23. I write in my blog and I'm so hardcore about keeping it real and SUPER blunt, because I don't think its worth the embarrassment to be caught in a lie
..it's like having your debit card denied for $0.49...
NOT WORTH THE DRAMA/EVERYONE LOOKING lmao..my bluntness has caused many a tiff in my life. Inclusive of my boss repeatedly telling me to "CHILL" with threatening eyes..I HATE having to pretend/kiss ass about what we ALL already KNOW. Why LIE???

24. No man besides my father has ever bought me flowers.

25.I shop so much in efforts to purchase all the happiness I've lost since my grandmother died. She's gone and I have no life direction, no wisdom, nothing. I don't even feel like I feel my own self think. Theres a huge dark patch inside of me..I've put my self in over $10K of debt in 2 years due to buying happiness. Now, I'm paying for all of it..broke out of my mind, closet full of clothes, and still, grandmother-less.
I feel like, if she were here..she wouldn't even know what to do with the person I've become. I would be a better woman now if she were still alive. And that's the one thing I'll never live down. Ever.

Tyra Mail! 6 Signs of a PINK Slip

" Six signs that you might get a pink slip.

Many of us have been there, you're doing your job, thinking everything is just peachy and bam -- you're fired. Sometimes you're shocked, sometimes you can sense it -- like a bad break-up. But panicking all the livelong day at work will not do you any good. Read on for a few telltale signs that you might want to slip that awesome stapler in your fierce handbag and start perusing online job listings.

1) If your company is floundering: No matter how high up you are, you might be at risk.

2) Your boss pulls you into a rarely used office or conference room: You can start to prepare for the worst.

3) The person you report to has been laid off: If higher-ups haven't said anything to you about a promotion, you're probably the next to go.

4) You haven't been assigned new projects: If you're not being asked to undertake anything new, there's probably nothing new in your future.

5) You've been asked to copy your boss on everything: If you're asked to CC your boss on all emails, chances are, your employers are trying to establish what exactly it is that you do.

6) You're yesterday's news: You've got a brand, spanking new boss. While this isn't always a recipe for a pink slip, there is a chance that with a new boss comes a new staff. You know, out with the old and in with the new -- so unfair!"

{source}

PussyCat Dolls Update: Bottle Pop

PCD's next single after "I Hate This Part" is "Bottle Pop"
Here are some shots of Nicole's fun face make-up...done by Troy Jensen, the make-up artist of Kim Kardashian.























The writing on her face is actually "Nicole" written backwards...done in liquid liner and Swaorski crystals.





{source, bitches: Troy Jensen}