Thursday, February 12, 2009

New Jack Update: Many Men

Oh Lord,

"Today.."wasn't a "good day"...
Far from...

I'm realizing from the state of affairs that maybe, "many men wish death upon me" (50 Cent)..The occupational hazards and swagger jacking seems to be intensifying by the WEEK. I'm literally being reduced to a crawling point. I was at such a point of frustration and anger today, that it truly was almost too easy to quit...

I was written up today..I believe for "insubordination"..however, I'm more intrigued with the fact that apparently, unbeknownst to me this is my SECOND writeup and I've had no physical (letter, printed e-mail, etc.) documentation of either.

As per 50 Cent, a fan of him I am not, however in the song "Many Men" there is a gratitude for the presence of "haters" if you will. He acknowledges the blatant hatred, the attackers, the death wishes etc. but in all this attacks, he still is the survivor. After the shooting, surviving 9 bullets he acknowledges that despite all those who attempt to tear him down as well as kill him, he's living because he has some form of divine purpose.

So as the swagger jacking continues, and I lose more of my sense of self and personality meanwhile cut down to "size" I guess I have to force myself into the belief that outside of these occupational hazards, I have an actual...purpose.

Maybe it's possible "I'm the diamond in the dirt, that ain't been found"

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