Monday, November 5, 2007

Blue October Waste

A rough week has finally been completed. Liz and I both agree after getting arrested together on the first of October, that a rough month is finally completed. I rounded out the week by performing community service for 7 hours on Thursday. After high speculation that I have become an AIDS carrier due to involvement with BLUE toxic waste on the lower east side and Chinatown, I saw it best I took a mini-blog break. It would have been frantic, erratic, insane entries about the bumps that were coming up on my face and hands, both of which were covered during the service.
Chinatown has lots of...graffiti and non-English speakers/readers/direction givers/instruction followers. Did I mention lots of cigarette butts and empty crab shells? That is all in addition to blue and green swamps of toxic waste because the non-English speakers/readers/direction givers/instruction followers dump ANYTHING, ANYWHERE. This is why New York is portrayed as such a horrible place to live. I was stuck with a 40-something year old woman, who has 5 days of service and was in complete denial that she was actually there. There was a lot of pacing, and removal of her sanitation vest while speaking to herself. "I cant believe-no this isn't happening,I-I-I don't belong here, no, I don't belong here..I have to leave, I am leaving cause no, this is NOT happening" Needless to say, I became very much a New Yorker and demanded to this "partner" 20 years my senior that she put her "fucking vest back on, because I'm NOT getting in trouble because you're having a crisis, move your bin over here NOW and sweep your side of the goddamn street and meet me at this post in 25 minutes". My speech was quite effective. It had to be. We were divided into teams, and the punishment for the TEAM not getting a particular area done, or done as well as it could have been was extra days of service. I only had ONE, and I was very intent on keeping it that way. We had a nice officer, strict but nice. We were let off a half hour early due to the efficiency of our work.

I returned to Brooklyn to scrub with a Brillo pad, as instructed by my friend J (Jacki). I had sharp pains throughout my arms from the intensity in which I worked all that day. The days to follow mysterious bumps that came up which probably was proof that I was reacting to the toxic waste. If I mutate, hopefully everyone will still love me and that I'll at least become something cool and not gross looking. Which isn't very hopeful, because things made from toxic waste in a cartoon usually are dripping with...ooze.

I came back to Long Island after picking up my temp job check late friday afternoon. Around 5:45. I was pretty exhausted from the week and month in general so I just took it EXTREMELY easy and passed out pretty early. My weekend in general was pretty smooth. Matthew and I both had a very bad week so knowing our tempers, we both stayed away from each other and saw each other only once the entire week. Sprint turned his phone off, so when I was kind of sad and lonely that didn't help much. Saturday I spent the day around Suffolk county doing some driving errands for the parentals, and both Matthew and I were eager to see each other so he spent the night on Saturday. My Sunday consisted of me going to church to seek some kind of hope of all that's been going wrong in my life,and Matt surprisingly showing up right after I got out. I came home to see his car parked back at my house when he had just left 6 hours ago. We spent a couple hours just watching a movie and talking until he had a ball game that night in East Meadow. We went to his cousins game afterwards in Seaford. So, Matthew and I did some good catching up, just a nice relaxing, cuddling catching up.

My vagina is currently falling apart due to several misdiagnosed medications given to me courtesy of my fabulous GYN. So Matthew and I did no physical catching up;(which was perfectly fine,the gay romance was fabulous after such a bad month) I'm miserable and in a crapload of pain and at a point where I just want to purchase a new vagina on Ebay so I actually CAN have sex and walk around without crying inside. sigh. my poor, poor, POOR vagina. All prayers for its speedy recovery are QUITE welcomed cause I'm going coo-coo.

I've had some recent male trust issues re-arise within me due to a friend of Bryant's. Bryant and I went to SUNY Oneonta together,and is very much attempting to court me while I am in this relationship with Matthew. His friend, a roach aka Al is unsuccessfully attempting to do the same. I wasn't won over by "If any man tells YOU that he's trying to get to know you, not just because of how YOU look that's a lie". Thanks for letting me know the only thing I have to offer are good looks. Thanks. After such a nice weekend, I took a portion of that harbored pain out on Matthew, questioning him about things I already know I don't have to worry about. The convo between Matt and I late last night after him bringing me home, wasn't BAD, but it wasn't GOOD either. I've texted him today so far apologizing again, and I've yet to get a response. I wish, I wasn't so upset by that roach or let the roach get to me for me to take it out on Matt after such a nice 2 days together.

Still, today is a new day. Still jobless. Temp check already half way gone from bills. Still trying to keep a slither of hope alive.

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