There is indeed a saying that I think everyone knows: "Don't count your chickens before they hatch".
I certainly did.
Chipper and ready to correct my life, I bounced into Manhattan on a mission to collect my check. Of course, I factored in what I believed to be the proper amount of taxes deducted from me, and with a gross of $560, the government saw it fit to remove nearly $200 from my check. I envision they are enjoying that money as we speak. I was FAR from prepared to lose that much from my check and it completely set me back. All the plans I had devised, of things I was going to get done certainly is not going to happen as planned.
I got my new Treo phone in the mail on Wednesday, a purchase that I wasn't planning to make on this check until the VX9800 saw this time fit to die. Between reimbursing the $150 I borrowed for my phone/weave removal; paying Verizon only $90 out of $160 and paying a portion of my civil suit, I'm pretty much almost at square one. I put $25 as opposed to $50 in my new Wamu savings account, bought a peak LIRR ticket home and have whats left in my account to purchase necessities: lotion etc. I look into my wallet to find under $30.
I certainly counted chickens. I must be doing a lot of that this week.
I had an EXTREMELY in depth and moving conversation with Deanna till after 3 a.m. last night after The Significant left my house. It was about the sudden realization that we both feel counting chickens in regards to friendships. You may assume you have certain friends and then you realize by their actions that you maybe might not. This was a heavy discussion of the "group" that we're currently apart of. All I'm going to say is, I got a new phone and Verizon cannot transfer the contacts over because its a Smartphone; if you know that you haven't texted me or called me in remotely one week, your number is NOT in my phone and it will remain that way until I am contacted and then save your number. It says A LOT when you don't hear from people you should in that time frame. Then again, I'm simply tackling all of this by not adding contacts to my phone. Both Deanna and I feel like we're counting chickens in various aspects. Out of that group, Deanna seemingly must be the only one who is aware that my phone broke last weekend; has been the only one to make ANY form of contact (AIM, Facebook, Myspace, text, voicemail); has been the only one to make it a priority to know when my phone would be back on and has been the only one to contact me since the phone recovery on Wednesday. I don't think I need to say anything more cause actions say it ALL.
In this discussion we realized the insecurities of other people we know, outside of the clan. When you think you know people from the past and you see the insecurities mask them over as they transform into something they're not for the sole purpose of wearing a mask. Despite the current disappointment and discontent that Deanna and I both are experiencing with our group, one thing is fact. WE ARE OUR OWN PEOPLE. When things are good with me and the group, they ENHANCE who I am because they're my FRIENDS. Friends should never DETER from who you are, what you stand for and make you something you are NOT. That is not part of the point of friendships. If you don't know who you are at this stage of the game, I'm willing to assist you just to be a GOOD person. Do NOT hire personal lackeys to surround you and tell you how fabulous you are.
Looks like all the chickens have hatched....