Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Forseeing the Future 2

After one hour of writing this perfect post, and working on a computer that is running Windows 98...I have lost the perfect post explicitly explaining things. I already FORESAW that today was going to be a long..and rough day. Here is a recovery attempt.
Of the two possible situations I can explain I have chosen to delve into The Significant first...

12:14:24 PM New Jack: i just had to get it off my chest that after I tried to tell Matt that he needs to get his own place, start workin full time etc he replied w/fuck you, you think u know so much about me...i dont think so
12:14:56 PM Ben: how did all this come about?
12:15:47 PM New Jack: hes pissed that im not pretending to support the whole hitting the customer thing
12:16:00 PM New Jack: he said hes over the situation and he has his job so it doesnt matter
12:16:13 PM New Jack: i asked him if he learned anything from this and he said no he regrets nothin
12:16:47 PM New Jack: and i told him that he needs to get it together, hes turning 26 and still is making no motions to do anything w/his life
12:16:55 PM New Jack: and he says hes fine w/his life just the way it is
12:17:22 PM New Jack: he doesnt want to move out, he wants to still ask for money everyday and hes tired of people telling him how to live and that how hes living is wrong
12:17:55 PM New Jack: and i should live my life and he will live his
12:18:22 PM New Jack: hes also upset that i honestly told him that if this is the way he wants his world to continue, him and I are not going to be in a relationship much longer
12:18:58 PM New Jack: because i have plans for my life, and im not going to be with someone who refuses to plan a future for themselves and even worse so not with me after 2 years
12:19:26 PM New Jack: so he told me fuck you, u think u know me so well, and i dont tell you how to live your life.
12:19:53 PM New Jack: so after hearing "thanks for the support" on sunday and then this today....yeah, im done...we're on a break
12:20:29 PM Ben: oh wow
12:21:17 PM New Jack: i might just tell him its officially over whenever he decides to call idk depends on how upset i am at the time
12:21:27 PM New Jack: but he has no life, and has no plans on making one
12:22:31 PM New Jack: i told you the TRUTH about yourself...and about what you did..and i get "thanks for the support and fuck you, you think you know me so well..i dont think so"
12:23:10 PM New Jack: im here at my temp job trying to make my own ends meet and if no one looks at my struggle
12:23:53 PM New Jack: and sees how hard it is to get a job WITH a degree
12:24:45 PM New Jack: then i wish him luck in life continuing the way he has without one
12:24:57 PM New Jack: and punishing those who try to help him
12:25:38 PM New Jack: he will not suceed in life, and whats the saddest part about it all is that at 26 he doesn't realize that and therefore doesn't recognize the need for help and based on that alone he will never ever succeed
12:26:26 PM Ben: what temp job do you have?
12:41:39 PM New Jack: Audiovox Corp
12:41:58 PM Ben: cool
12:43:02 PM New Jack: im so heated...cause hes not the least bit remorseful about the things he should be about....the job and this relationship and how hes handled BOTH so poorly
12:43:43 PM Ben: i understand
12:44:03 PM Ben: he's blinded i guess by his own view
12:44:12 PM New Jack: and because hes so far from an adult he realizes nothing and its impossible to have a conversation with himabout himself
12:44:23 PM New Jack: blindsighted isnt the word
12:45:21 PM New Jack: he told me that he never tells me how to live my life...and im like you never would have to because i have common sense
12:45:26 PM New Jack: i wouldnt hit someone at my job
12:45:35 PM New Jack: i wont be living w/my parents at 26
12:45:43 PM New Jack: i wont be working for $10/hr for the rest of my life
12:47:37 PM Ben: true
12:47:54 PM Ben: its very difficult for him to take criticism
12:48:53 PM New Jack: and hes 4 years older than me and consistently reminds me of Denzel he acts 4-5 years younger
12:49:04 PM New Jack: and im truly truly annoyed and starting to be over it
12:49:21 PM New Jack: because im trying to make a future and move forwards not backwards
12:50:08 PM New Jack: and this is why unfortunately i have to just stay single as much as i dont want to because no one that i wind up interested in turns out to be on my level and has no life goals, i consistently find myself in relationships with people who have no goals
12:51:20 PM New Jack: and im not sure how thats possible to live with no goals in life
12:52:18 PM New Jack: and its like my stomach is starting to hurt cause i feel the anxiety of knowing that this is not going to change..because he sees NO problem and im faced with stay like this and know that this could be my life or drop him now knowing how much i love him and dont want to
12:53:19 PM Ben: its a crazy situation D
12:53:29 PM Ben: i dont even know what to say
1:06:53 PM New Jack: im just...anxious...i know hes not going to contact me, and I have no plans to contact him after a voicemail and 2 texts so im curious to know how long its going to take for him to come to his senses...like call me tomorrow? or call me in a month? or call me never
1:09:57 PM Ben: it may take a few days
1:10:14 PM Ben: it probably will, given how things like this has happened with you guys before
1:12:03 PM New Jack: yes...and its just...i truly feel like im at the end of my rope Ben...i
1:12:22 PM New Jack: am trying so hard to make something of myself and correct so many wrongs, especially financially
1:12:35 PM New Jack: and im attached to someone that has no remote future whatsoever
1:12:56 PM New Jack: i asked him, if i toldhim i was knocked upw/his kid tomorrow what he tell me...."im screwed"
1:13:18 PM New Jack: because you're not an ADULT and you dont know what you would do at 26 about a baby? like are you kidding me?
1:14:37 PM Ben: what did he say to that?
1:14:49 PM New Jack: "im screwed"
1:15:07 PM New Jack: "i live my life one day at a time, so i wouldnt know what to tell you"
1:15:25 PM New Jack: "i dont plan for the future, theres no need to, shit is just going to happen so i dont plan"
1:16:12 PM Ben: wow
1:16:17 PM Ben: really?
1:16:31 PM New Jack: yes im dead ass serious, i couldnt make this shit up for goddamn tv
1:16:44 PM New Jack: he looked me in the face in my car and said that to me

I hope that serves as enough...I had so much of a BETTER thoroughly written and properly edited post for you guys...
Why is it that with Steven, Juan, The Significant and everyone inbetween I get linked to those with no ambitions? Coincidence anyone?

Now you tell me honestly, if I needed Miss Cleo to foresee this future for me..

1 comment:

Leah said...

Son...u need to drop the dead weight. Like u said, as much as you'd hate to be single, you'll only wind up better. U need a man not some kid who wants to call himself a man. And if anyone thinks they can find a good job w/o a degree, ask a person WITH a degree how hard it is for him/her to find a job too....