I'm not particularly sure how to open this entry...so I'm just going to throw down these 3 things that caught my eye.
The landscape continues to change today with an emphasis on romantic Venus as she first aligns with passionate Pluto and then cools down by entering reserved Capricorn. We may feel as if our parade is canceled due to rain. Although our hope isn't squelched, this can be an unavoidable reality check. The Moon enters discriminating Virgo at 9:49 am EST, cranking up our analytical engine so we can logically intellectualize our recent experiences.
Psalm 119: 36: Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.
Aries:Although these past few days may have been very intense, relief is on the way. Instead of being swept up in another emotional drama, you can finally get down to business. If you have frivolously wasted time or have been guilty of procrastination, you can now make up for lost time. But don't expect any miracles or major breakthroughs today. Just start at the top of your list and work steadily for the best results.
I feel like it's more than evident that I feel drained. I see no opportunity for things to let up early this weekend. I will be working today and tomorrow, leaving from work tomorrow and heading directly into Brooklyn to return the Sentra. I haven't confirmed how I am arriving back to Suffolk county as yet either. After that, I should hopefully be able to get some sleep early on Saturday and late night attending (still in debate) The Significant's game. This all seems like a situation I don't want to invite myself into, for The Significant and I have beef, he and his cousins currently have beef, the girlfriend of his other cousin and I have beef and I don't forsee a comfortable "family" oriented game as has been in the past.
Drained, annoyed and worried I went to bed last night after an extensive conversation with my BFF, Jax Poetic and LibraDreamer. I did put my phone on "alarm mode only" so that the ONLY thing I would hear is my alarm go off at 7 a.m. for me to hop up for work. Nikki the ex girlfriend of his cousin Cam called just to check on me, and The Significant called me three times between 11 p.m.-1 a.m. I'm glad that it was in that mode for me to not hear it, because I wouldn't have ignored his calls as he deserved. He didn't leave me a voicemail out of all three phone calls, so is it fair for me to assume it was that urgent? Or maybe it could be the signs of some class understanding that if it were an apology he called to deliver it would NOT have been accepted via voicemail. I havent in a little over a week and wont be entertaining sex with him for a little while....
In aiding myself in staying with my New Years goals, I started investigating on Craigslist writing communities. I cannot afford to go to grad school of course, so in the interim I might as well continue to enhance these writing skills that I hold so dear to me. I despise poetry, sidebar and there were a lot of things poetry oriented. I guess I can't say that I hate poetry, I am indeed a songwriter as well. Its just that, so many people have noted my writing talents and its something that I do love and comes easy to me. I think that if I did go to grad school PR or journalism really, really would be a great venture for me. Dylan keeps telling me I need my own magazine, but magazines are extremely difficult in sales nowadays when you have things like this-blogs, taking over the world. EVERYONE has a public blog and everyone LIVES on the internet. Truly with the help of my ex boyfriend's cousin I can really have my little internet "mag" that I think with enough time and dedication will take off. But, in the interim, I might as well strengthen the writing skills. I'm doing this for MYSELF, and no one else. Since it is becoming apparent to me as well as everyone else that through my actions I'm doing slightly too much for The Significant and other people.
Both Nikki and I have thoroughly come to that conclusion between The Significant and Cam.
Right now, the money game is looking fierce. I will be working thus far with my last day becoming Monday of next week due to the continued illness of the receptionist. This will enable me to pay $125 each to both Verizon and my civil suit, especially the civil suit demonstrating that I am NOT in any ways trying to "jerk" them around. I am in debates as to what to do about my hair, a weave would be THOROUGHLY more cost effective in that I will have no hair expenses for the following 2 months. OR, I could engage in wearing a ponytail where I will have upkeep expenses atleast every two weeks until I came up with money AGAIN to install a weave. The current disaster on my head I am referring to as hair, is in KNOTS because I purchased $80 worth of hair, and sadly to those who don't know about hair thats CHEAP. I'm getting what I paid for..therefore, my hair cannot come out of a ponytail because it is in a knot about a little smaller than your fist. Yeah I said it, your fist thats how huge that thing is and needs to be CUT in order to be removed.
I still need to set money aside, this is a temp job afterall and I have no idea when the next check will ever come in....