Wednesday, March 5, 2008


I've lost focus of where this is going...Or more so, where my life is going...
Not passion, just focus..

I devised this blog for myself. In a dual idea. I was told when you lose sight of something or are devising plans: map them out or list them. Its been in several scientific studies that writing things DOWN has a crazy percentage higher of becoming reality than when people just make lists in their minds. As an artist, and writer this is very easy for me. Yet, mapping and writing is only half the path; action is where I seem to fall apart these days.

Creating of Blog
  • drama relevant to my life
  • a healing process
  • adding possibly some of my recorded works, but definitely copyrighted song works written by me
  • a record of events in my life
Writing Exposure
  • aspirations towards journalism
  • keeping writing in practice for the aspirations while currently unemployed
  • online portfolio (significantly easier than something written; easier to access by possible employers)
  • a general mode of expression
  • writing about things that are not solely drama, but things that interest me but simultaneously might be interesting to others as well (i.e.: music, Kim Kardashian, etc)
  • keeping others abreast of new things I've discovered (music, sites, etc)
Fan Base
  • small aspirations towards still making it big
  • keeping those who wish to be in tuned with my life, in tune
  • those who claim themselves to be "fans" of my work to actually have a way to connect with me
I'm truly not sure what I want out of my life anymore. I feel as if I'm hitting a blank that if someone were to say to me what do you want to be when you grow up it results in either a blank stare or a multitude of things not pinpointing on ONE profession.

Upon certain epiphanies, I'm becoming now afraid to enter the job market. I've been digging and hunting relentlessly with the help of friends and family and was only focused on MONEY, loans, credit debt, material needs, desires for the future (car, apartment) and not solely looking at my degree for a minute and saying now that I have this wretched piece of paper after four years of laughs and tears...what the fuck am I going to do with it.

I feel really lost and maybe there's truly a lack of discipline..

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