Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho

I wouldn't mind...I mean, I really wouldn't mind if someone took the time to explain to me how exactly I got to work today...
After the debacle with the high-waisted jeans as per the last entry, I wound up wearing them anyway and not exhaling during any photo that was taken.

Example:

Similarly how I will be at my birthday party..
This is why I was wearing the cute high-waisted jeans and NOT breathing for the evening...

Oh dear Lord Jesus...

Oh yes....
In celebration of Tina's birthday (the woman in the first photo) we shimmied into Webster Hall which is ladies free on Thursday nights for that EXACT reason. Did I mention OPEN BAR? I didn't think so.
I was served at the bar by a Domenico (Tila Tequila's Shot at Love) look alike who was flirting and provided my BFF and I with "Gin and somethings".
That beautiful Hispanic creature is the man I will be having children with for the next 3 generations. That's a PROMISE.
He danced with me for a whopping 11 seconds and it was AMAZING. We're not gonna talk about the two minute ass palming....
After..complimentary champagne, gin and "somethings" on a barely digested Mcdonalds stomach I found my way into my bed at 4:35a.m. and my father promptly reminded me that I'm employed 7:15 a.m.

I arose from virtually, the dead, motivated by the color GREEN. If I called out I would have lost $100 today. I don't just LOSE $100.
By the way, isn't my BFF the cutest little prick you've EVER seen?

Never mind the birthday girl enjoying her gifts...
But somehow, hi-ho, hi-ho I went to work and...lived. Probably 2 hours and 40 minutes of sleep total, and did NOT consume a Redbull energy drink.

So maybe the fact that I'm WIDE awake now must be SOME sign that when I collapse tonight, it'll be forever...