Slowly, more epiphanies; Or maybe things I've already known and have pushed to the back burner are starting to catch a fire...
I started working out today. Yep. For the first time in at least a month (at ultimate minimum, I've protested for QUITE some time) I hit that goddamn treadmill. I did 1.5 miles and burned 204 calories.
Did I like it, no.
Did I sweat, yes.
Did I jump start my metabolism, yes.
Does cardio= fat burning, yes.
Was I enjoying myself, no.
I did however wake up today and say to myself I can't keep going on like this. Not just because I'm truly, truly unhappy with my waistline but just for basic health. If I'm struggling like this at 21 years old, what the hell is going to happen at 31?
Thats been a lot of my thinking lately. I'm turning 22, something I'm NOT eager to do in the LEAST. I'm very unhappy that my birthday is coming up in roughly one month (4/14) but thats what it IS. Life doesn't stop moving because you are UNHAPPY about something. At 31, I'm going to say when I was unemployed why didn't I spend that time just working out to preserve my heart. I'm going to be miserable about how much money I'm spending then on doctors visits and co-payments but I could have PREVENTED this back at 21. Do I want some fucking abs like this
(pictures courtesy of Ms.Williams)by May 2008?
That's the same woman by the way.
Goddamn right I do...if not by my birthday. Truly, having them in them at 31 wont matter though. Having them now at 21, will be hot, when I can run around the clubs with my shirt off. I wont be doing that at 31. I still have my HEART though, which will have benefited from all that ab obsession back in these days.
When I'm 31, I want to be married. I want to be married well BEFORE 31. I want to be living with someone that I have the potential of truly being with by the time I'm 24, 25 years old. Your early days are truly the mirror to your late days of this life. I'm not saying people cannot change, or to give up on things not presenting themselves in the "now" but I'm really seeing the factors and clues around my early days being NOW setting themselves as the mirror to my late days.
The way I breathe climbing stairs, the way I sweat having to do certain things cause already at 21 my body is not being CONDITIONED or PREPARED to endure anything NOW. Worse so, the future. It applies to everything. Not saying that my current relationship doesn't have potential, but as happy as I am right now the pace in which things are moving we won't be living together by my 24th birthday nor 25th. Marriage, ha. Not saying some hot shit can't happen and BAM! it all works and we do wind up together by that time but this is me watching the warning signs and clues. I'm an avid planner. Many people seem to take dislike in this attribute of mine but I have no intentions of changing it cause its YET to do me wrong. I do have a habit of planning and becoming severely disappointed but planning and preparation has never done me too wrong.
So maybe there are some things about these early days that need to be corrected from right now..